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Today I think my default icon may actually be appropriate...

I've been meaning to do this for a while, but being stuck in bed recently has meant that I decided confusion was heaps better than boredom and balls to my sinusitis.

In other words, I'm aching to play Mornington Crescent and can't seem to get a good game anywhere. Twitter isn't appropriate. You'd think it'd be ideal, what with the 140 character word limit, but it does leave one having to allude only sparingly to the rules, so without further ado I announce this post to be Mornington Crescent central.

If you want to play, do join in. If you've never played before, leave a comment to that effect and we'll show you the ropes (although you may want to sit out and watch play for a little while just to get the basics down) I'm also instigating a free-for-all rule which basically means you can starts as many games as you like (go nuts) with whatever rules-set you feel like trying out at the time, and you can have as many players in a game as the rules allow, anything upwards of two players in some cases.

Discussions over rules are, of course, a part of the game, and I wouldn't dream of trying to stop anything so integral to play, but don't let it get out of hand. I've been playing Mornington Crescent all my life and whilst I would never dream of calling myself an expert, I humbly admit my highly experienced amateur status, so I will step into the vacant position of chair if such is needed, but I'd just as soon not have to.

I'm going to try linking this about a bit, so don't panic if you have more than one invitation to play! Also, consider this a general chatting post, if you feel like reminiscing over old games or chatting about your last victory I'm sure there'll be someone who'd like to hear about it, even if it's only me.

You should probably know that 'what brought all this on' was mostly reading this fic and laughing. Laughing a lot. And also the other things that resulted from the same prompt.
...but as it turns out it's actually mostly about Sherlock Holmes and only a little bit about me being ill and not really at all about me procrastinating. Whatever...

So I have been ill lately.

But mostly I have not posted because I have also been swamped with life stuff and also because I have been too antisocial to keep up with people on anything outside of Twitter. Twitter is quick and easy. LJ requires effort I did not have.

Anywho. I am not dead (mostly) and the intense five-day-long pressure headache/migraine (from the sinusitis, which came from complications with my cold that was one I got back off of bloodrunner666 after giving it to her and getting it the first time from requiem2adream... Colds in our circle of friends are a little bit incestuous.) is easing off and I think finishing, leaving me some time to be coherant-ish and post something. Yay.

I have a bunch of things to say, but it's difficult to get anything in any kind of order. Lately (barring the times when I've been asleep at the wrong time of day, having nightmares about dogs (don't ask), thinking up stupid fever-dream stories of utter fail and trying not to laugh at anything because I was wheezing like Muttley and it hurt) I've been reading the sherlockbbc_fic meme. I recommend checking it out if you in any way like Sherlock because it's bloody massive and there are hundreds of fills. Some of which are really, really good.

I've also been re-reading Sherlock Holmes. Oh ACD, you so brilliant. I missed you! If anyone is a fan of the series Sherlock (or indeed the RDJ movie) and hasn't read the original stories I urge you to now, because I promise you, they are well worth your time.

I also borrowed bethan_b_bad's dvd of Sherlock before the sinusitis took hold, although I've given it back now, and instead of (what seems like) everyone else in the worldI have (accidentally) come away NOT going 'Oh Benedict Cumberbatch, I overlook your patently ridiculous name because you are pale and have cheekbones and prettyness' or indeed 'Oh Martin Freeman, you are adorable in knitwear' BUT INSTEAD went 'Oh Rupert Graves you sexy, sexy BAMF, come here and let me gaze upon your manly stubble and greying hair, and also I must watch your entire back catalogue, in most of which you are entirely naked and utterly gorgeous, how thoughtful'. *sigh* I think I may have to conceed the point that I have a thing.

I just don't get the Cumberbatch appeal. Okay. I get what you see in him, he's all pale and cheekbone-y, but he's gawky and weird looking and no. This also doesn't help that I know his voice better than his face. (Cabin Pressure mainly, although the first time I came across him I was listening to Forty-Five, the Doctor Who Audio Adventure, and niblick_iii and I just started cackling about his name and how innuendo laiden it sounded.)

...Wow that post got a lot longer and a lot more Sherlock-y than I thought it would... I'm gonna go now. I have procrastinating to do. And I need to post this so I can put up my Mornington Crescent post which is written and waiting. Woo! Games that I need my brain for whilst operating on less than a full tank of sane and healthy! (When in my life have I EVER had a full tank of sane and healthy? Seriously?! I've been running empty forever.)

Oh Yeah...

Please don't repost shit that I write on this blog to Facebook or Twitter. I don't have a Facebook for a damn good reason. I don't use my real name on here or twitter for much the same reason.

Don't make me break out the lightning bolts of smiting.

For those who want it, here is a poll where you can vote against the stupid little ticky boxes of fail (or for them if that's your bag, but seriously I don't see any positives about them) and if you really really hate them, here is a Greasemonkey script that daluci has written to get rid of them, at least from your view.

This concludes the rant.

O Hai Thar Flisters


I'm off to Discworld Con. I am looking forward to it. It will be EPIC. It was FEPIC last time and it will be FEPIC again. I cannot wait to see all of you guys again. I am PLEASED!

OTOH today has been sucky and long and WET because yo: Cardiff, but tomorrow will be awesome. I really do need to sort my damn lj account out because I miss my icons and I cannot use my Ponder Stibbons icon. *sadface*

If anyone on my flist is going and wants to give me the heads up so I can say HI, please do so now. :D


"Who are your top five female characters from TV and film? (Who are the five female characters you love exactly as written, as opposed to the dozens of female characters you'd like to fix-up and do a better job with than the mostly white guys who wrote them originally.)" - Yes another meme. It'a almost as if I don't have ideas of my own... Stealed from livevolutionary Please pass it on.

I don't have to explain, so I won't, but beyond 'she's fucking awesome and I sometimes wish I could be her' I don't know what I'd put down for each character anyway. ...In no particular order, with pictures and without a cut, my five...

1. Penelope Garcia (Criminal Minds)

2. Toph Bei Fong (Avatar: the Last Airbender)

3. Cheery Littlebottom (Discworld)

(Second Left)

4. Dorothy 'Ace' McShane (Doctor Who)

5. Fatima Maharassa (Friendly Hostility)

Special Mentions go to: Abby Sciuto, Donna Noble, Gert Yorkes, Jennifer Jeroe, Kaylee Fry, Lisa Cuddy, Luna Lovegood, Maddy Magellan, Marion Ravenwood, Martha Jones, Molly Hayes, Nanny Ogg, Nefertari Maharassa, Dr Nikki Alexander, Nyota Uhura, 'Pepper' Pippin Galadriel Moonchild, Romana, Sarah Jane Smith, Susan Sto Helit, Lady Sybil Vimes, Tegan Jovanka and Ziva David who were all considered, but just beaten for the Top Five.

I suggest you lot go forth and find their canons because they're all worth checking out. I've limited myself to one from each canon, Doctor Who especially is a minefield of alternately epically well written and epically badly written females, but if I can only pick one Doctor Who girl to be then I'll be Ace all the way! Also apologies for the crappy pic of Cheery, she's a book character, that's about the only picture of her there is.

Comment and I'll give you three fandoms, for which you must answer these:

01: What got you into this fandom in the first place?
02: Do you think you'll stay in this fandom or eventually move on?
03: Favorite episodes/books/movies/etc.?
04: Do you participate in this fandom (fanfiction, graphics, discussions)?
05: Do you think that more people should get into this fandom?

This Meme was stolen from niblick_iii and requiem2adream who each gave me three fandoms to do, they are:

1. Criminal Minds
2. Life on Mars
3. Discworld
4. Supernatural
5. Teen Titans
6. Doctor Who

So here goes...

1. Criminal MindsCollapse )

2. Life on MarsCollapse )

3. DiscworldCollapse )

4. SupernaturalCollapse )

5. Teen TitansCollapse )

6. Doctor WhoCollapse )

Fuck me, I've been working on this for so long I've forgotten everything else! I shall do a separate post for me-stuff, since I now feel a bit more sociable. It's the fact that even though it's still dark a lot, I know the sun's coming back that helps, I think. That usually makes me feel better.


Time now: 8.48am
Time my mother arrives to take me to Dorset: 12.00pm
Things I have to do before my mother gets here: Wash up, tidy house, pack everything.
Number of hours slept: 0
Likelihood I will accomplish anything: <10%
Likelihood I will succomb to sleep on the sofa again: >80%

...This does not look like a good start to the day.

...Oh yeah. And go do my memepost. It's not like they're difficult. Mostly.
So I need a bit of help from any Americans on my flist. I don't think there are many of you, but I need your lingustic skills my friends...

I need some words for things. I have pictures, so please comment and let me know what the things are in the US, if they're the same as over here in the UK or different. THANKS!

Okay first, I need to know a word for pram. This is what I mean by pram. Or buggy, although this is what I mean by buggy. I need the catch-all term for a thing you push a baby along in.

By the way, these are references for a fic, if you hadn't already guessed!

Secondly I need to know if there's another term for this which is a baby carseat.

Thirdly, is there another word for 'bassinet'? This.

And lastly, is there another word for a cot, this? Specifically a drop-sided cot.

There are another couple of words that I'm going to try and get pictures for, but I have no idea if I can...

Okay piggyback ride? - It's a thing mostly kids do, or grownups do for kids... It's just easier to carry a smaller person like that, because they can steady themselves by holding onto your shoulders, and you can secure them by holding onto their legs. I have no idea why it's called a piggyback ride, it just is. Is it called that in the US? If it's an adult carrying a kid, often the kid will not just cling to their back, but perch on their shoulders and lean on the adult's head. This is still called a piggyback ride in the UK.

Farley's Rusks - I should probably explain this one as well, it's a kind of biscuit thing that you give to babies, when they have only a few teeth, they're soft but a little bit crunchy and taste of oatmeal. Babies tend to suck them and drool on them until they turn into squishy biscuit-mush and then get it everywhere whilst trying to eat them. It may just be a brand-name thing, so if you have an equivalent in the states, please let me know! By the way, they're not just any biscuits, they are specifically for babies. (More's the pity, cos they're really tasty and I feel weird buying them without having a baby as an excuse.)

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. - This sounds like another stupid one in my head, because I'm pretty sure they came from America in the first place, but I need to know if they were called anything else. The original Power Rangers, none of this SPD, Dino-Force new stuff...

Marzipan. - As this one is more difficult to explain the link isn't to just a picture of some marzipan, it's of how to put marzipan on a christmas cake. Marzipan basically is sugary solid-paste stuff, that tastes of almonds. It's naturally a sort of creamy colour and people put food colouring in it and dye it all different colours and make shapes out of it, so you also get marzipan fruits, little replicas of fruit, made out of marzipan, like this. I have no idea how to explain this any better, sorry. Also, do you have/make Christmas cake like the Christmas cake in the link? With the fruit cake, then the marzipan layer and then the icing layer? I really have no idea.

The last thing, I can't find a picture for, but it's 'hand-me-downs', 'cast-offs'. Clothes that get passed on from another person in your family, usually an older sibbling or cousin. Ones that either don't fit them anymore, or aren't in fashion anymore, but are still perfectly serviceable and not ripped or broken in any way, just old.

Okay, aaaand that's it! THANK YOU SO MUCH! And now I shall collapse!

plum x.
So I haven't posted since September. Which is shit. This is becase I am in the 'I don't wish to communicate with other people, I just want to hibenate' stage of the year, more commonly known as 'Winter is coming bitches!'

I also have bronchitis, as any of you who haven't heard my rambling commentaries on twitter won't already know. Yeah, I'm thinking in double negatives, be aware!

If you want to know what I'm doing, check twitter, otherwise, here is a brief summary of me from the last week or so:

Am using my daylight lamp as my brain has recently noticed the lack of daylight we are having lately and has decided it wants to hibernate. 2:28 PM Sep 19th from Echofon

Problem: I have too much gin in my kitchen. Solution: I must drink it and then I will not have so much gin. 10:23 PM Sep 19th from Echofon
Problem: I have no lemonade to drink the gin with. Solution: I learn to drink gin and coke. 10:24 PM Sep 19th from Echofon
I should probably eat something that isn't crackers, shouldn't I? ...I have actual food, it's just that I'm kinda woozy and brain!fuzzy. 10:39 PM Sep 19th from Echofon
@niblick_iii My logic is impeccable. Sadly I am NOT allowed to drink all the gin in the house or I will poison my liver. I found more. 10:40 PM Sep 19th from Echofon in reply to niblick_iii
@niblick_iii I am not drinking ANY of the gin, at least not right now, 'cause then I have to follow the code of gin and weep on some stairs. 11:14 PM Sep 19th from Echofon in reply to niblick_iii
@niblick_iii It is a rule of gin. If you are female and consuming gin you will end up sitting on stairs and weeping about your dress. 11:28 PM Sep 19th from Echofon in reply to niblick_iii

DID I MENTION TODAY HOW AWESOME @niblick_iii IS?!?! Cause OMIGOD she's FUCKING AMAZING and I *hearthands* her so much! ilu Michelle. *cwtch* 3:59 AM Sep 24th from Echofon

Today has been long. Another Societies Fayre might kill me. Luckily I'm going home to see my fambly! A flying visit for 2days. Need sleep... 5:37 PM Sep 24th from web
Also I need fooood. I have not eaten today. I... am going to make a sandwich! And then I am going to nom it. Mmmmmmmmsammich! 5:39 PM Sep 24th from web
Holy crap! I'd forgotten just how many stars you can see when you're stranded in the middle of nowhere waiting for your ride... 11:04 PM Sep 24th from txt
Woo! I have been rescued. Fear not, lovely tweeples, i am now safe, and not standing outside a station in the arse end of nowhere. 11:18 PM Sep 24th from txt

...Why did I decide that evil hospital/body horror movie > zombie rat people movie? This is so weird. I need blood and death right now. 11:47 PM Sep 25th from Echofon
But body horror aside, I'm enjoying playing 'who's going to die?' I think the brunette chick and possibly the cute russian boy will survive. 11:54 PM Sep 25th from Echofon
...Or I could be wrong. I think Cute Russian boy might be next to get ganked instead. 11:55 PM Sep 25th from Echofon
Cute Russian Boy looks like Henry from Blood Ties, but skinnier. He is about to die horribly though, I think. 11:58 PM Sep 25th from Echofon
Aw, Cute Russian Boy got stabbed with a syringe, looks like he's about to be taken apart. Stoner Boy's locked in the morgue. 12:03 AM Sep 26th from Echofon
Live organ donation? Monty Python did this better. Stoner Boy's tripping and scared stiff. Cute Russian Boy can't take much more dissection. 12:06 AM Sep 26th from Echofon
...Well that was unexpected... Naked man with organs falling out of his chest. Surely that's not where you normally keep intestines? 12:08 AM Sep 26th from Echofon
Hah! Lumbar Puncture of FAIL. I laughed. Also, how did I know Creepy Doctor would drink the spinal fluid? *snerk* 12:14 AM Sep 26th from Echofon
Why is this godawful movie making me hungry for goodness sake? I'm not @weevilqueen and this isn't Countrycide... 12:17 AM Sep 26th from Echofon
Oh crap. That's not good. Trigger-y scene is very fucking trigger-y. Stoner Boy was hallucinating and cutting himself. *Meep* 12:20 AM Sep 26th from Echofon
Huh. Looks like Stoner Boy might make it. He's stopped hallucinating and started thinking. Brunette Chick will definitely live. 12:38 AM Sep 26th from Echofon
@weevilqueen Godawful film called Autopsy. So far I think everyone's dead barring Evil Nurse and Brunette Chick. 12:41 AM Sep 26th from Echofon in reply to weevilqueen
@weevilqueen Oh no, I'm wrong, Stoner Guy asploded himself, Creepy Doc and Henchman no.2 but Brunette Chick's bf is still alive. 12:42 AM Sep 26th from Echofon in reply to weevilqueen
@weevilqueen Mind you, his organs are all suspended from the ceiling on hooks... So he might not last long. 12:43 AM Sep 26th from Echofon in reply to weevilqueen
Aww, everyone's dead except Brunette Chick. How did I guess? Hah. Even though they tried to drill into her skull. Fail. 12:48 AM Sep 26th from Echofon
Oops. Creepy Doctor is not as asploded as we might have guessed... Hee! Brunette Chick's fighting back though. 12:49 AM Sep 26th from Echofon
Bah, stupid ending to stupid film. Should've gone with zombie rat people. *shrugs* Oh well, I'll know for next time. 12:52 AM Sep 26th from Echofon

@intothenightx Ah siblings. Can't live with them... Because if you do you want to kill them after five seconds. *hugs* 11:01 AM Sep 26th from Echofon in reply to intothenightx

Hah! Oh UK, never change. I've just seen a sign in a cafe with step-by-step illustrated instructions on how to wash your hands... Fail. 1:51 PM Sep 26th from txt

Zombie Pub Crawl was fucking awesome! LOVED IT! So glad I went. Thank you @cardiffscifisoc for an awesome night. RAWR!!! *love* 2:07 AM Sep 27th from Echofon
Ok, off to cleanse self of makeup. I may have gotten carried away. Others looked like people dressed as zombies. I look like I do eat flesh. 2:29 AM Sep 27th from Echofon

Not liking having the lurgie. Ick. Whole thing deeply unpleasant. Everyone best be hoping I get better asap. Coughing stuff up's disgusting. 9:37 PM Sep 27th from Echofon
@Ozalina Hope you get better my lovely. I need either a doctor or the common cold centre, I haven't decided yet. *anti-lurgie huggles* 12:22 AM Sep 28th from Echofon in reply to Ozalina
@weevilqueen Sweetie, we already know which doctor you want. I can't decide if I should be paid for being poorly or just languish instead. 12:31 AM Sep 28th from Echofon in reply to weevilqueen
@weevilqueen I'm ill too, what's wrong with you? Mine's flu. I'm coughing up yellow stuff. It's gross... Of Course you needed to know that. 12:44 AM Sep 28th from Echofon in reply to weevilqueen

Yesterday I couldn't decide, the Doctor or the Common Cold Centre. Given that I've just woken up coughing up blood, I'm thinking DOCTOR... 8:13 AM Sep 28th from Echofon
Doctor's appointment achieved! I've got to go along later. Urgh. I'd like to be paid for being ill, but not enough to forego the Doctor. 8:39 AM Sep 28th from Echofon
@weevilqueen Doctor says broncitis (sp?) and I've been prescribed amoxycillin and sleep. Wish I could scrub my throat out . I hate phlegm... 6:07 PM Sep 28th from Echofon in reply to weevilqueen

Minestrone is good soup, but it looks really weird. Mine has peas and noodles in it. I has a nom. :) 8:01 PM Sep 28th from txt
...Whatever else you think about supernatural, you can't deny it has an awesome soundtrack. 8:09 PM Sep 28th from txt
@weevilqueen Yes, but I have a gag reflex for phlegm. I do not like coughing and then feeling like I need to throw up. 9:58 PM Sep 28th from Echofon in reply to weevilqueen
Started to go shaky and sweat lots. Think I'd better eat something with sugar in it before I pass out. I hate being ill. 10:00 PM Sep 28th from Echofon
On the other hand I like complaining, so being ill gives me something to complain about. Thanks Tweeps for putting up with it. Love you guys 10:02 PM Sep 28th from Echofon

Being ill makes me want to write sappy domestic drabbles in my fandoms where someone is sick and gross and someone else looks after them. 12:45 AM Sep 29th from Echofon
Since my response to 'Be careful or your bronchitis will turn into pneumonia' was 'I'm wearing a scarf!' I doubt it would end well. *sigh* 12:47 AM Sep 29th from Echofon

Update from the state of plum: Am now coughing up more blood than phlegm, also have lost all balance. Lungs feel crackly. I hate bronchitis. 11:59 AM Sep 29th from Echofon
... Okay, what?!? My brain just went crosseyed. No, seriously, that's what it feels like. The fuck? Ow. 7:57 PM Sep 29th from Echofon

NB: Having cuts and bruises does NOT make people more attractive except in your brain because you are WRONGLY WIRED somewhere up there. 2:14 AM Sep 30th from Echofon

I ♥ Singularity, but the high-pitched whining of the Somnus computers is making my brain melt out of my ears... 1:21 PM Sep 30th from Echofon
Dammit, I'd forgotten how angry Singularity makes me. Stop making the TARDIS scream you bastards! She's in pain. Stop hurting her! D: 2:23 PM Sep 30th from Echofon
On the other hand Singularity has some brilliant examples of why snarky ginger alien schoolboys should be in everything! Turlough!squee. :D 2:27 PM Sep 30th from Echofon

The novelty of coughing up various bodily fluids is beginning to wear off. I want my lungs back now. 3:14 PM Sep 30th from Echofon
Damn you all for not being here to sing 'Soft Kitty' to me. *pout* I'll have to sing it to myself... Can someone call Jim Parsons for me? 3:50 PM Sep 30th from Echofon

Hmm. I think I need more sleeps. Or less ill. 9:47 PM Sep 30th from Echofon

@neilhimself My #comfortbooks are always books I read first when I was young. Magic and intrigue, pirates, smugglers and adventure... 12:11 AM Oct 3rd from Echofon
@neilhimself Don't have my own kids, but working with kids and having Godkids is the nextbestthing when it comes to passing on #comfortbooks 12:15 AM Oct 3rd from Echofon

I'd like to flail about Studio 60 being awesome, but I can't stop squeeing at Aaron Sorkin's writing for long enough to be coherant. 1:42 AM Oct 4th from Echofon

Urgh. Am now wheezing like a dying dog, or alternatively like Muttely laughing but slower and more painful... Reeeally hate bronchitis. about 2 hours ago from Echofon
Dear Brain, I would like to not be crazy now. Kthanxbai. P.S. Also please tell Body to get the fuck better, my lungs are annoying me. about 1 hour ago from Echofon

And that was longer than I'd expected... I can't be arsed to put it behind a cut, I've spent too long cocking about with html already, you'll just have to scroll past it I'm afraid.

And I'm off to have more crazy. Night all.


I am a useless twat.

So I was supposed to post this to my lj about a week and a half ago, but I forgot. Everyone I've asked IRL has said no due to work constraints, money or whatever, so now I'm doing what I should have done before.

bethan_b_bad has a spare ticket to see La Cage aux Folles this Monday evening. It is her birthday, it is also the opening night with the new cast, John Barrowman will be debuting as Albin and Simon Burke as Georges. If you'd like the ticket please say so in comments, or call/text me, it's about £37 (I think) and it needs to go to someone.

If you have no idea what La Cage aux Folles is I've provided a link to the wiki above, and if you're still not convinced let me assure you it is worth the money, it's a gorgeous story as well as being utterly fabulous and wonderful.

If you definitely want the ticket, please, please get in touch.
Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you.

Meme pinched from ceitfianna, as usual, who gave me these 5 things to write about. (I'm making a slight change to the meme, making it a bit more circuitous by adding that if you want to give me words as well as, or instead of, getting them I'll be happy to do more too!)

Doctor Who
Ah yes, Doctor Who. It's one of my favourite tv shows. Sadly the fandom is slightly further down in my list of fantasticness. I love the people who I know in the fandom, especially all the old bods who've been so lovely and helped me to get on so much in a fandom that it didn't occur to me to check for until after the new series started, even though I'd watched re-runs of the old series' as a kid, but I know that out there there's a LOT of batshit insane people, a lot of fanwank and a lot of rivalry and shipwars. I couldn't imagine not being in the fandom, but I'm so glad I've manged to avoid most, if not all, of the drama by staying well back from the sidelines.

Is where I live, and where I love to live. I was definitely not born here, and although I claim half-Welshness because my dad was born in Swansea and brought up there until he went off to school, I'm very much not a native. I wish I was. I utterly adore it here in Cardiff, and if anyone on my flist is EVER in town, just give me a shout and I'll be happy to show you the sights, I love showing off my city. Wales is an amazing place to live and I love it with every little bit of me, even the bits that miss Macclesfield and Bridport, and even though it rains eight days out of every ten. (The other two days are mostly overcast by the way.)

Mmmmmm. I adore the Discworld, I would, in fact, choose to live there if I could, even forsaking Cardiff. *gasp* Yes, I know, sacriledge, but I love the stories that go on there, the implication that even though we mostly only follow the main characters in a story all the others have a wealth of things that they could tell you about, if only they had the time. Everyone in those books is a fully fleshed-out person, whether they're on the page for one line or three books, and that's why I love Terry's writing so much. It is like having another world to go to, like being transported, the characters LIVE in front of you and flicker behind your eyes and I just can't tell you how much I really and truly love these books. The fandom, such as it is, is miniscule but brilliant, and there are very few bad fic-writers in Discworld fandom (except in the Pit of Voles, but that's the exception for every fandom really) and I'm really pleased to be a tiny part of it.

A nickname for Ianto Jones, and a nickname for me. This all started two years ago for halloween, when a bunch of us dressed up as Torchwood, but honestly I think it's less to do with that, and more just because galacticconman is a hugely persuasive influence in my life and has managed to introduce me to more-or-less everyone famous we've ever met as "and this is my teaboy". It doesn't exactly help the image that she is basically Owen and enjoys pushing me around and I'm a fully paid-up member of the Sub Club (at least according to the Jokerists) and spend my whole life doing what other people tell me to do anyway, and so I'm used to it. I blame Emma. It's just easier.

Something that I love to try and do, and I enjoy it when I can, but I have the attention span of a kitten with a ball of string, and less determination than a stunned starfish, so I mostly start something with great gusto and then trail off to nothing, leaving a half-finished drabble behind. These days I collect prompts like stamps, picking them up, looking at them and putting them back again as I choose. Every so often I do finish a thing, usually because the person I'm writing it for pokes me hard enough to make me kick my brain into writing the rest, or because I've signed up for a ficathon, and I bloody HAVE to get the words down or I'll be thrown bodily from the internet. As you may well gather from this, I work best under pressure, which is why I can sit staring at two sentences on a page in a cafe for three hours and not be able to write one more word, and also be able to churn out five pages of A4 in a half-hour English exam. I should probably sign up to more things with deadlines. It might help me get better at pushing myself to do things.

...And that's is all. No cut, it's not that long. A Bientot! x
...so we could write stuff about her on it, and I was reading through the pages going 'I have never seen any of these people before I can't comment on them!' (apart from Del and Rose, obv.) SO I thought screw it, I'm not putting myself on this thing, I don't know anyone who frequents it. So here in my journal we're having a little party of randomness. I'm combining with Beci's much used and much loved Anonymeme to create a little well of anonymity.

Comment to this post with ANYTHING. If you want to vent, vent. If you want to discuss problems, discuss. If you want to tell me things about me, go ahead. If you want to tell me things about you, go ahead. Whatever you want to say RIGHT NOW, say it. But everything should be Anonymous. (To anon just write your comment and hit the button labelled 'More Options'.)

Go Forth My Minions Friends and Comment!

P.S. In Other News...

So I went down to the shops and I found some AWESOME things.

I was looking for Batman Boxers so I went into the first shop (Primark). But they didn't have any, and I was sad. But I saw some awesome t-shirts which were very very cheap and looked like they belonged to Gabe Saporta (evil neon techno scene kid) and one that looked like it belonged to Frank Iero. I tried them on and they were so fabulous I had to buy them. I left the first shop feeling very confused.

Then I went into the second shop (Topshop) and they had some cartoon boxers and even some Superman ones, but the Batman ones they had were black and white and didn't look good at all, and were also far too small for me. And I was sad. But they did have some shorts-pyjama bottoms which weren't Batman, but were colourful and comic-book ish, so I bought them. I left the second shop also feeling confused.

Then I found the third shop (Next) where I found a pair of Joker boxers. Hoorah! I was very happy. They weren't exactly what I wanted, but given the circumstances, wouldn't the Joker be even better? Then I turned around and found a pair of boxers with Batman and Robin on them! I was so very happy I squeaked! They were exactly what I wanted, so I went and bought them (and because I am weak and they were half price I bought the Joker ones too). I left the third shop feeling very happy and smug.

I decided to walk home the long way round because I needed to find the tattoo places on city road. Somehow I managed to walk the entire length of city road and crwys road without finding a single place. (I know there's at least one, but I managed to miss it completely.) So I trudged on determined up the road, and ended up on whitchurch road where there is a place called Tattoo U. It was closed. I was annoyed so I kept on walking because I am a stubborn plum and I had prettymuch decided that I would keep walking until I found somewhere that was open or I'd end up at Tesco and buy myself comiseratory icecream instead. I kept walking past the coop and the Doctor's Surgery, rounded the corner and there it was. Cardiff Ink.

It was still open and the lovely man (his name is Jay) let me in even though he was about to close up and now I have a brand new lip peircing (I have two now.) and a happy smile on my slightly bruised face!

To cut a long story short I have cool boxers, cool t-shirts and a brand new hole in my face.


bethan_b_bad borrowed my headset last night, so I can't do podficcing until she gets back from work and tells me where it is, but instead of that I'm going down the shops to get some Batman boxer shorts because goddamnit the Thursdayverse cosplay is reaching EPIC levels of awesome, and I want in on the action.

Also here is the podfic I did yesterday and forgot to link -

Saturday Night's All Right For Fighting (So Is Friday)

It's swear_jar and apiphile's Thursdayverse and won't make a damn bit of sense if you haven't read those first, or at least listened to them, so here is a link to the index from which you can find everything including fantastic fanart and brilliant cosplay.

The Thursdayverse Indexpost

Once I've done the whole lot of podfic I'll link them all in one post so Del can add them to the index for anyone as wants them.


Today I have stuff to do, so here is a meme in lieu of me actually doing that stuff, and also to distract you while I run away!

(a) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blog and replace any question that they dislike with a new, original question.
(b) Tag eight people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you.

Well, Beci tagged me, but it was fucking ages ago, so I'm ignoring that last part. I was looking for good memes to do and I went back through Beci's memes tag.

I tag gingerhobbit, oz_the_bobble, elephantqueen25, skitty_kat, apiphile, bethan_b_bad, niblick_iii and iron_nerd. As well as anyone else who wants to do it. ...It's not that long, it's not going under a cut.

What are your nicknames?
plum, fidget, Teaboy

How do you style your hair?
Style? No seriously, I let it dry once I've washed it. I do nothing to it.

What's the last book you read?
Currently in the middle of reading Tomas by James Palumbo. You should all read it because it's sick and twisted and brilliant.

What colour shirt are you wearing now?
My black Vince Ray t-shirt. (Fast Cars, Cheap Booze & Loose Women!)

If you could only have 5 songs to listen to for the rest of your life, which 5 would they be? TOO HARD. I replace with this:
What are the last five songs you listened to voluntarily? (No random 'heard it in the street' music, the last five songs you switched on yourself.)
Free Design - Love You
Jacob Borschard - Batman Summer of 89
Boom De Yada!
Get Set Go - I Hate Everyone
Catatonia - Goldfish and Paracetemol
(I have uploaded them for your listening pleasure if you feel like listening to them.)

Is your ear itchy?
No, but my eye is.

Do you nap a lot?
I nap because I can't sleep for any great length of time. I'm so bad at falling asleep that I'll take any sleep I can get, if that happens to be 20 minutes of napping on the bus that's fine by me.

Who was the last person you hugged?
Oh crap! One of the girls when I said goodbye to them last night, but I fail at remembering which order it was in, so either Alex, Dani or Sarah...

What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
Currently I'm obsessing about Heroes a lot and also a little bit squeeing over bandom because I'm podficcing for Del and Jess.

What was the last thing you ate today?
Does a cup of tea count? I haven't eaten today. I have to podfic first, then I can go buy food. Thems the rules. Incentive you see.

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
How long does it take me to throw my pjs in a heap and climb into clean clothes? I tend to shower later in the day because if I'm up and dressed going somewhere I don't have time, and if I'm up and not going somewhere I'm too lazy to bust out the shower right away.

What websites do you visit daily?
Twitter, lj, gmail... That's it I think. I have daily webcomics and stuff, but I save them up for the weekend cause I like to read a few at a time.

What classes are you taking right now? And if you're not in school anymore, what's your job?
I'm not strictly in classes right now, and I have no job, but come September I should be rocking the English lectures.

What are you listening to, right now?
The sound of silence. Not the Simon and Garfunkel, I just have no music on at present.

What's the last song that got stuck in your head?
Free Design - Love You. That's why it's in the song list I had to play it to get it out of there.

What cell phone model do you own?
...It's a grey Nokia of some kind. A small brick with no special features whatsoever.

What is your favourite weather?
Raining. I'm pretty happy here in Cardiff.

How are you?
Ill. I have conjunctivitis and the beginnings of a sore throat.

Where would you see yourself in ten years?
Best case scenario - Teaching English to kids in a school somewhere. Worst case scenario - Dead.


So I forgot to mention the two BIGGEST things before because I R DUMB.

1. Del's Gig! - For those of you who expressed an interest over the weekend (elephantqueen25 and oz_the_bobble especially, although niblick_iii wasn't there, and I think you'd like, as well as the fact that you're close enough to London not to need somewhere to stay) HERE! is the link to book tickets (which are only £7). My plan so far is to go on the Sunday because then I can watch the Jokerists, eat fairy cakes and have awesome funtiems, and then hang around afterwards and see Robin Ince in the same place a few hours later. I have tickets for both obtained from the aforelinked website, so you can do to. Please let me know what you're planning on so I can coordinate people if I need to.

2. Shiny! - I found the best shoes in the entire world! I was on ugly_crap and I found THESE!

Aren't they just the ugliest, gayest most ridiculous trainers in the history of ever?!?! I LOVE THEM! I want them, they're just so disgusting they burn my eyes and I neeeeeed them. *flail* They even have the rainbow tick of gay on the side.


While I was typing the THIRD awesome thing happened, which is that Died on a Wednesday finished uploading, so here it is.

Died On A Wednesday

For those not in the know, it's the second fic in the Thursdayverse series that began with 'Thursday Kids Like to Cause'. I'm podficcing the entire series because Del asked me to and I'm posting them up as I finish them. For the last one check my last entry or poke me if you can't find it and really want it.


P.S. In other news, yes I do have conjunctivitis, the Doctor confirmed it (yay eyedrops) and I still need a tag for London, suggestions? Answers on a postcard?


I haven't Con-Reported because I suck, and I haven't picspammed because I didn't exactly know what the hell I was letting myself in for when I said I'd put one together and it's taking longer than I expected, but I did spend yesterday being productive and lazy at the same time.

No, I'm afraid you can't do it too, it's a power only I have, sorry.

I slept a lot. Getting back from London at nearly 3am will do that to me. (Actually, I go back at 3, but I'm pretty sure I didn't go to bed until nearly 5, but tha's just my own damn fault.) Then when I did get up I uploaded some shiny things which may be of interest to people other than apiphile so I'm linking them here:

Thursday Kids Part 1
Thursday Kids Part 2
Thursday Kids Part 3
Thursday Kids Part 4

I commited Podfic on Friday, not realising quite how long it would take me to a)read them and b) tweak and edit them so that I cut out all my little coughing fits and places where I went in the the complete opposite direction from where I was supposed to be going. This is the result. I read it in two parts (the two parts it is split into on swear_jar's journal) but it wouldn't upload like that, so I had to cut it into four parts. Each is about half an hour long. Enjoy. Excuse the occasional stumbling over words, I was reading out loud for two hours straight.

I also changed my bedding, put a load of washing on then hung it out, had a goodly long shower and moved the ironing board back upstairs. I watched four episodes of Dexter and discovered that keeling over in the park on Saturday (for the lulz, do not fear oh people who were not there) I whacked my head on a rock (this was after I started to dig to Japan, but before I found the worm) and I have a small lump of pain on the back of my skull.

This morning however, I woke up to find my phone in its death throes and had to rush to plug it in and that my left eye is all pink and puffy and icky yellow guk is coming out of it (yay! Pus descriptions at 11am!) so I'm off to the Doctor's this afternoon to talk about conjunctivitis and me. And hopefully that will be the end of it. Oh, and Beci mentioned that Alex had said something, but it was irl, and I meant to say something anyway so: Forgotten side-effects of London #287 - Your snot goes completely black.

And to break up the monotony and because I am in that kind of mood here are some pictures of things I like.

Behind a cut because if I don"t people will bitch about their layouts being stretched or the post being too long.Collapse )

...I'm going to go now, because my eye really hurts and I'm going to go and stare at it being gross until such time as I have to head out to see the doctor. I may watch a few episodes of Dexter in that time also.

(Also I need a tag for London. Any suggestions?)


So I'm coming to London this weekend for the London Film and Comic Con (as per my post ages ago in my journal, and HERE).

BUT because I am a useless twat who doesn't think of things until the last minute, I am without accomodation for the night, so I'm calling you London folks out and asking if you wouldn't mind a Plum crashing on your floor or sofa for Saturday night. I promise to be quiet and tidy and stuff, and I'll get food in town so you won't have to feed me unless you desperately want to. Otherwise, can anyone help with details to a cheap place to stay, a hostel or something?

Thanks in advance,


P.S. I am using this icon because I don't have an 'I'm a usesless twat' icon, which is something I clearly need.

Fair point...

...I suck, and I need to start reading my flist again, I'm so far behind it's just stupid, hence tomorrow will be the day of flisting! BUT, I've been watching Heroes, yes, I'm late to the party again, but silvernatasha lent me the first series on dvd, then I stole the rest off iron_nerd so I've been mainlining, and I'm now in S3. There are some points I want to flail/whine/bitch about, but I'll put them behind a cut in a minute, and in any case, this comes first, because I've been thinking it for the last two days, and I've finally had to make it...

...Yeah, Sorry. I was going to put the same quote (it's the first Stanza of Philip Larkin's 'This Be the Verse', just in case you wanted to know) with the picture of The Company, but there's still one or two of them I don't know (whether they were supposed to be revealed properly in S2 before the writer's strike killed all the plot creativity or not I have no idea, but I know their names are all on stickynotes when Matt has it at the end of S2.) and I don't want to stare at it too closely. Also, any excuse not to have to stare at Angela Petrelli is a good thing...

Anyway, on to the wank...

Wank, possible spoilers and discussion of Heroes, which you might not want.Collapse )

Anyway, I've probably babbled enough, so I'm gonna go read my flist and gather together the pretty pictures for the picspam later.

Yatta! (I had to do it once! Sorry.)

P.S. I am sorry about comma abuse, overuse of ellipses and the word 'awesome' being used to describe everyone. It's been a long day.


So London is awesome, apiphile is fucking amazing as always, and I spent most of yesterday in some kind of daze.

A proper report of The Adventures of plum and nevaendinstorey in the Big City would not convey to you how awesome it is to sit in Candy Cakes for two hours with Del and talk about everything with porn on top and then be whisked off to a gorgeous erotica shop (I believe the difference between erotica and porn is merely the price of the tools used, but I could be wrong) where we looked at lots of awesome stuff and giggled over Tom of Finland stories, and then on to Forbidden Planet where everyone squeed over action figures and I was told that 'midget wresters were poisoned by fake prostitutes' which is something I certainly consider news. And then we had to run for the tube and tell stupid kid-jokes so we could meet bloodrunner666 who put us up for the night ...

So yesterday was awesome and today should contain Camden and probably Pride, and possibly meeting people from Pendracon afterwards in a pub (Cat has the numbers, I have no clue) all topped off with good noms when we get back in the evening to my brilliant Granny's house because she's putting us up for the rest of the time after we found out how expensive it was to go between London and Stevenage every day...

Tomorrow is my actual birthday day, and I will probably have no internet, but I'll be texting twitter from my phone about the Comedy Store Players who we are going to see and who should be awesome, and then Monday there is also Comedy with Del who suggested it, and in the day we're going to see the museum with the dead bodies so that'll be cool, and by the end of this trip I'll be thinking in run-on sentences proper, and I'll be so tired I'll sleep for a week.

...And it'll be worth it!

Ta-ta, I'll talk to/see you when I get back!

Yeeesssss another meme!

But I promise more constrcutive things later.

Don't take too long to think about it. List 15 books you've read that will always stick with you -- The first 15 you can recall in 15 minutes.

Stoled from apiphile again.

1. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (A Trilogy in Four Parts (no I don't count Mostly Harmless, why would you ask that)) - Douglas Adams. (I always say this, but I've been saying it for ten years and it's still hanging around, so it must have stuck.)
2. Moab is my Washpot - Stephen Fry. (Esp the rules of what you're not allowed to be sorry for.)
3. Ender's Game - Orson Scott Card.
4. Good Omens - Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.
5. The K-PAX Trilogy - Gene Brewer
6. Retribution - Mike Jupp. (Who is a mate of my dad's and sent me the first copy for free. I had to buy the second copy after the first one fell to bits.)
7. The Sandman - Neil Gaiman. (I don't care that it's a graphic novel not a 'real' book, it sticks with me.)
8. The Hobbit - J.R.R.Tolkien.
9. Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne.
10. The Chronicles of Narnia - C.S. Lewis.
11. I was a Teenage Dominatrix (A Memoir) - Shawna Kenney.
12. Join Me - Danny Wallace.
13. The Brentford Trilogy - Robert Rankin.
14. The Sleep Book - Dr Seuss.
15. The Plucker - Brom.

Also, quoted verbatim from the_hatstand who many of you do not have on your flists, much hilarity ensues:

Oh good grief... Phil Jupitus just read out this cutting on The News Quiz.

- taken from The Bristol Evening Post, Thu Jun 5th 2009

"Outside Bristol Zoo is the car park, with spaces for 150 cars and 8 coaches. It has been manned 6 days a week for 23 years by the same charming and very polite car park attendant with the ticket machine. The charges are £1.00 per car and £5.00 per coach.

On Monday 1 June, he did not turn up for work. Bristol Zoo management phoned Bristol City Council to ask them to send a replacement parking attendant. The Council said "That car park is your responsibility." The Zoo said "The attendant was employed by the City Council... wasn't he?" The Council said "What attendant?"

Gone missing from his home is a man who has been taking daily the car park fees amounting to about £400.00 per day for the last 23 years!"

My advice to the bloke is to keep running. I would have done the same myself.

P.S. I almost forgot:

Bill Bailey was AWESOME! And I got Front Row Tickets! *squeeflail*
I had a blast and there were bits I knew and bits I didn't, and a new song about Johnny Rotten advertising butter and a new instrument called a Tenori-On which was really cool, and he got under the carpet and YAY! More details may follow, but given my seive-like memory in the presence of greatness I doubt it. Still, let it be known that I had a great time and that it was well worth three hours on a train for!


Panicking quite a lot about this one, because I have to catch a train tomorrow to my Dad's house and I literally do not have the money to get there without my student discount on the train. Can anyone think of anywhere obvious I should look for it that I haven't already checked?

Places I have searched...

My usual backpack
Two other bags that I use less often
My smart coat pockets
My hoodie pockets
By my bed
The table in the living room
The top of my chest-of-drawers

Please help! I'm staying at nevaendinstorey's tonight because getting to the train station from her house is easier than getting to it from mine, so I can only search for about another four hours.

Thank you!
plum x.

ETA: FOUND IT! I had to crawl around on the floor under my desk to find it, but I found it! And now I bring you a meme because I am pleased. Next post. Hah!
Stolen from innerbrat and rowanberries

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Pick an image.
c. Copy each image URL into Mosaic Maker. Change rows to 3 and columns to 3.
d. Save the image and post it on this note.

The Questions:
1. What is your first name? plum (Okay, it's not, but for the purposes of this meme...)
2. What is your favorite color? bluegreen
3. What is your favorite food? ice cream
4. Favorite drink? tea
5. Dream vacation? The Discworld (specifically Ankh-Morpork)
6. Favorite hobby? reading
7. What you want to be when you grow up? a teacher
8. What do you love most in life? my insanity
9. Best self-description? bright-eyed lunatic (not on flickr) interestingly manic

The Mosaic thing didn't work for me, so I have pics for you anyway under the cut. Pretty ones. Yay!

Gorgeous Pics behind the cut for Excessive Pretty and minor bigness. Also impromptu poetry.Collapse )

Also there is a poem with the pictures. I don't mind posting it because it is simple and kidlike.

Awstfgl - Random

Okay so one of the things I've been told is sucky about my journal (see the last post, go reply to it now, then come back, in fact, HERE's a link to it so you can) is that I don't post often enough. So I have some rambling at random, and then another meme FOR YOU

ETA: A link from bethan_b_bad
NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim June 2009 as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month. I call upon the people of the United States to turn back discrimination and prejudice everywhere it exists.

So not this weekend, because this weekend MY EMILY COMES HOME *gleeeeeeeeee* but the weekend after, I'm going to see my Daddy and steal some more of my stuff from his house to bring back home (Including the teenybike. If I can persude Bethan, there will be pictures!) to Cardiff, and because he called me up last night and asked if I wanted a free ticket to see Bill Bailey! So I clearly said yes, and he's going to pay my train fare up to see him as well. He is a great Dad to live far away from. Having lived with him for two years I'd kill him if I had to do it again, but he's okay so long as I don't have to stay in the 'paranoid pessimism' centre of the universe, which is his house, for too long.

I will also bring back anything from my Dad's house that I can as presents for you. ...Now you're interested and not at all still foaming in jealousy because of the Bill Bailey ticket... 'Ask and ye shall recieve' is the phrase of the day, if you want to know something about me from my stuff ask away, I am prepared to do weird shit like ship a small parcel consisting of a book, three McDonald's Happy Meal toys and a Sylvanian Family rabbit to you, provided you ask the right questions. I don't know what they are either, but I just want to give people my stuff right now. Addresses and things can get worked out later.

minervasolo is FUCKING AWESOME and you should all read THIS because I had a terrible idea and she wrote it for me for the lulz, and it is fantastic even though it's only short and Ford Prefect + Bob Bryar = FUCK YEAH!

And now the show you've all been waiting for...
Stolen once again from apiphile:

That's right, it's time for ORGY OF EGO-BOOSTING!

Here's your side of the deal, you comment and tell me:

1x AWESOME thing about me.
2x AWESOME things about you. (That's right. TWO)
3x AWESOME things about a friend of yours, on or offline. I don't have to know who they are, just tell me.

If you see someone in the comments you know/like/feel needs to be loved at (even if you don't know them), comment and tell them something awesome about themself. Even if it's just "HOLY COW YOUR ICON MAKES MY CROTCH FRIENDLY".

Here's my side of the deal! I will reply with two AWESOME things about you. If I don't know you very well, I will make something up, post a picture of a baby animal, or write you a poem. If you don't like my poetry, tough shit, it's my journal and I will commit verse if I want to. (I won't be writing poetry, I do not show any poetry I write to the outside world without sneaking it so far under the radar it's already been forgotten before anyone even realises I commited poetry.)


For examples on how awesome and lovely such a meme can be, I refer you to its perpetrator apiphile and what happened in the meme on her journal HERE.

And in case you cared I'm going to see STAR TREK again today. Wo0t! Fourth time Biatches and I'm still not tired of it! Boooooooooooones and Chekov and Scotty FTW! I really do need to get my icons sorted. (But I do have the best tag for Star Trek EVER!)

NOT a meme for once...

So I've eaten. Which is good. And I'm watching 'I've Never Seen Star Wars' with Hugh Dennis on iplayer, which is really cool and he's eating roadkill with this old bloke who's really funny. I haven't exactly been sleeping properly I'm coming up to three days on five hours of sleep. I also have one arm from fingers to elbow covered in writing, quotes, names and random words. I really, really want to cut my hair off again too. it's bugging me like crazy. Also I'm wearing facepaint for no good reason. I felt like it. *shrug* (The roadkill bloke is called Arthur Boyt if you wanted to know.)

I've been bogged down in Star Trek fandom lately. I can't squee, I'm too tired, but I have a link for a stupidly cute kidfic (Here), which has obviously lead to me wanting kidfic from as many of my fandoms as possible, so if you know any good kidfic, please link it. If you feel like writing me some that'd be awesome too, but I'll settle for links.

Star Trek fandom is really nice at the moment, I love the massive influx of people coming out of the Trekkie closet like people coming out of the big blue closet and admitting to being Doctor Who fans when the new series started, also a lot of the fic is really quite good. I'll admit, I've been int TOS a lot more these days than I every used to be, but still with the Picard represent! It doesn't hurt also that most of the cast of the new film are pretty (I've never once thought Zac Quinto was pretty until I saw pics of him in his GIANT GEEK glasses and all of a sudden 'Helloo there!') and even though I feel a bit weird with regards to Chekov cause he's pretty, but looks like jailbait, but isn't actually jailbait, and Anton Yelchin is definitely not Jailbait in any way seeing as he's such a GQ Motherfucker (A PICSPAM to prove my point) but I'm still so CONFUSED!!!

...Scream is on the telly, and srsly, how is everyone so incompetent in this movie?!?! I've not seen it before (I really didn't want to at the time it came out and I prefer not to pay for films if I don't have to) and I've just realised this has turned more into a stream of conciousness thing rather than an actual post so I'm gonna signoff and leave lj as is.

If I'm supposed to have posted you something up, a link or whatever, and forgotten to do so comment and let me know.

plum x.

P.S. Pinto is the best namesmoosh pairing ever. Especially for those of us who watch QI (I suspect all of you!) And now I'm watching Jonathan Ross - Joanna Lumley still has the sexiest voice in the entire world. Just thought you ought to know.

A Meme in lieu of actual work, yay!

Your fics are coming along surely but slowly, and will either be posted in the comments below where you asked for them, or if they end up too long, I'll post them at my fic-journal and leave you a link to them!

Slow but sure, has become even slower with two fingers out of commission. If you follow my on Twitter you'll already know, but yeah. Washing Up is hazardous to my health. The last two times I've done the WU I've cut myself on something. Last time I sliced my finger open with a concealed knife below one of the plates, which is why this time I very carefully didn't put the sharp knifes in, planning to leave them 'til last, and do them separately. This time it was a glass, which cut me inbetween my ring and little fingers on my right hand, leaving me with eight typing fingers and imposing a state of unwilling left-handedness upon me.

However, I have vowed to write a hell of a lot more often, to get into the practise of writing, even if what I write is complete bollocks, so here is a meme to be going on with, and I'll be back to writing your requested fics as soon as I get the stupidly large bandage I mocked-up off my fingers. (It needed to be kept clean and dry etc., but plasters don't work between your fingers unless they're those special ones for exactly that, so I used a bandage and some cotton wool which I have in case my sister comes to visit and injures herself because she's allergic to plasters. Anyway, the bandage I had to use is too long, so my fingers are wrapped up in a large cotton sausage shape. Which doesn't help with the typing...)

Reading/Book MemeCollapse )

And that's quite enough of that.

Enjoy your day. Me? I'm going to see Star Trek again later! WIN!
So I thought I'd be a nice plum and write you something to cheer you up.

Please prompt me in the comments with the following -

Fandom, Pairing (optional), Genre (optional) and Prompt.

All prompts, if you please, to be delivered in the style of 'a is for-', 'b is for-'...etc. Get the idea? I want a whole alphabet eventually, so please keep plugging away.

Eg. SGA, McShep, fluff/humour, 'b is for buffalo'.
or Quantum Leap, Sam/Al, kid!fic, 'b is for balloon'.
or HP/Doctor Who, 'f is for floo powder'.
or Hitchhiker's Guide, kid's adventure story, 's is for smugglers'... You catch my drift I hope?

ETA: Meant to say before, but... This post is NOT f-locked for a reason. If you know soeone who is suffering from exams, or is having a shitty time and needs a fic to cheer them up, poke them in my direction and I'll do what I can for them! Also, if you aren't suffering from exams, but you want a fic anyway, go ahead and ask. The 'exams' thing is merely a thin excuse, made to get me to get off my lazy arse and do some writing.

If you're not sure I know the fandom of which you speak, give me a choice of a few, alternatively check my profile for a fairly comprehensive list of fandoms I at least know, even if I don't usually participate in the ficcing.

Ready? Steady? GO!

Prompt away!

plum x.

P.S. I'm planning an icon shift-about in the next few days, so If there's any of my icons you particularly like and think I shuld keep, or indeed, any icons that you particularly hate and think I should ditch, let me know. I've no idea if that'll make any difference to my descision of which I'm keeping and which I'm not, but I'd still like your opinions.

Poetry Wot i Promised.

Why am I always late with these?

...That was rhetorical by the way. My hangover tomorrow morning will not be. Urgh. I am not looking forward to that.

In conciliation for the lateness of this, have a Colin Morgan hug. :) He is pretty.

Day 23. Act Two - Part 3

The Wild Party by Joseph Moncure March

The candles sputtered: their flames were gay;
And the shadows leapt back out of the way.
The party began to get going.
The laughter rang shriller:
The talk boomed louder:
the women's faces showed flushed through powder;
And the men's faces were glowing.
The room was hung with streamers of smoke.
It billowed; curled;
Swung; swirled:
Poured towards the candle flames
And broke.
Eyes flashed,
Everyone talked:
Few listened.
A glass smashed;
And a woman swore,
Shrank back

On the bed sat a girl,
White: aloof:
Like stone.
Her mouth was a crimson velvet petal,
Her hair was beaten from gun-metal.
Her eyes were deeply set
In shadows of violet.
And she sat with never a motion,
Like a nun wrapped in devotion.

Hungrily Madelaine True eyed her:Collapse )

A Meme-y Meme

I stole from moofoot. One meme -

1. Open your music library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press "play."
4. For the first question, type the song that’s playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button TWICE.
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool... just type it in, man!

...Possibly I should have skipped out my audiobooks, but that said, I think 'The Holy Terror' is probably oddly appropriate for the first day of work/school.

Also, I'm assuming that this is the soundtrack to the movie of your life.

OPENING CREDITS: I Can't Explain - The Who

WAKING UP: I Never Told You What I Do for a Living - My Chemical Romance

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL/WORK: The Holy Terror - Big Finish Productions

FALLING IN LOVE: The Red Planet - BBC(?)

FIRST TIME: Kathy's Song - Simon and Garfunkel

FIGHT SONG: Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance

BREAKING UP: Singing the Blues - The Steelmen

PROM: This Ain't Your Country Anymore - Mitch Benn

LIFE: We're Not the Champions - Mitch Benn

MENTAL BREAKDOWN: Brand New Day - Neil Patrick Harris

DRIVING: She's The Blade - Sugarcult

FLASHBACK: The Five Million Year Old Tape Recording - Douglas Adams/Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Radio Play/BBC

GETTING BACK TOGETHER: Let's Do It - Victoria Wood

WEDDING: I Believe in Father Christmas - Greg Lake

BIRTH OF A CHILD: Short Fat Fannie - Larry Williams (*snerk*)

FINAL BATTLE: Collide [Acoustic] - Howie Day

DEATH SCENE: Chuckles - Andy Hamilton/Old Harry's Game/BBC

FUNERAL SONG: Sulk - Radiohead

END CREDITS: Bat-And-Forth - Derek Des Anges


And luckily it isn't mine again, because that one went down like a sack of hammers.

Act Two - Part Two (Also known as Day 22, honest!)

The Wild Party by Joseph Moncure March

The only one not on hand was Kate,
She was Queenie's re-headed running-mate.
She was rakish, and tall:
Slim-legged; slim-hipped:
Naughty of eye, and expressive-lipped.
Always in vogue:
A rogue-
But her manner was gay, and delicious.
She could make a Baptist preacher choke
With laughter over a dirty joke.
A touch of flesh would drive you fey.
She could pull you in
To a state of sin
So fast it would take your breath away;
And you'd love it, and beg her to let you stay.
She had wrecked more homes
With lust's delight
Than most women could have
With dynamite.

She was cute,
And about as healthy as a cobra's bite.

Where the hell is that dirty bum?Collapse )

I fail at discussion today. Except to say that I am feeling like crap. Humanity 1. Me 0.

I wish I knew how not to feel dead...

...So here is some poetry to help you to bed.

Act Two - Part One (Also known as Day 21, honest!)

The Wild Party by Joseph Moncure March

The gang was there when midnight came.
The studio was it by candle-flame;
Dim: mysterious: shrouded.
Unbidden shadow-guests swarmed
About the room. They huddled crowded
In every corner; raised deformed
Ungainly shoulders, hideous, tall
Necks and heads against the wall.
Enormous blurred hands kept stealing
Spider-like, across the ceiling;
Crossing with sharp, prismatic masses
Of light from swaying spectre glasses.
the flames flickered:
The shadows leapt:
They rushed forward boldly;
Across white faces:
Wavered, retreated;
Turned, defeated,
And shrank back to darker places.

The party was getting under way
Stiffly, slowly.
The way they drank was unholy.
They hovered around the glass-filled tray
Like birds of prey.
White, intense;
With mask-like faces
Frozen in rigid, gay grimaces.
They chattered and laughed

They drank swiftly, as though they might
Drop dead before they were properly tight.Collapse )

Late, but still Part Three.

So very late with this one. Sorry, sorry, sorry!

Act One - Chapter Three. Drumroll please:

The Wild Party by Joseph Moncure March


Sunday noon:
Broiling hot.
Queenie woke up feeling shot.
She lay stretched out on the crumpled bed
Naked: slim arms above her head.
She stared at the ceiling;
She stared at her feet;
She stared at the clock,
And cursed the heat
She looked exquisite; saintly.

Burrs was up,
Ugly; silent;
dressed in a pair of violent
Pink pyjamas, badly crumpled.
His eyes were pouched.
His hair was rumpled.
He sat brooding like a captive satyr
Over a cup and a percolater.
He was gross;
The Sunday Tabloid spread before him
Rather unusually well supplied
With murder,
And Suicide,
Left him cold: unsatisfied.
Even the comics seemed to bore him.

Queenie lifted her headCollapse )
Presenting Act One - Part Two of the epic.

The Wild Party by Joseph Moncure March

Furnished like a third act passion set:
They owed two months on the rental.

Pink cushions,
Blue cushions: overlaid
With silk: with lace: with gold brocade.
These lay propped up on a double bed
That was covered with a Far East tapestry spread.

Chinese dragons with writhing backs:Collapse )

I stand corrected. The poem is in Two Acts. Act One is three parts long, and Act Two is ten parts long. Act Two is, of course, the party itself, with much drama, mayhem, drunkeness and swearing. All will be revealed eventually, so keep your eyes peeled for the dramatics.

Oh, and please do comment about the poem. If you like it or not... Especially if you don't like it, because so far I've had no feedback, and unless I get a response I'm going to keep trundling out one part a day for the next eleven days, and if you don't like it you'd better say or you'll have to live with it for the next eleven days instead.

Okay, so I didn't make it to a scanner...

...and this has to be typed up fast, 'cause I need to do a run to Lidl for supper.

So I give you Part One of a ten part Epic Story-Poem;

The Wild Party by Joseph Moncure March

Queenie was a blonde, and her age stood still,
And she danced twice a day in vaudeville.
Grey eyes.
Lips like coals aglow.
Her face was a tinted mask of snow.
What hips-
What shoulders-
What a back she had!
Her legs were built to drive men mad.
And she did.
She would skid.
But sooner or later they bored her:
Sixteen a year was her order.

They might be blackguards;
They might be currs;
They might be actors, sports, chauffeurs-
She never inquired
Of the men she desired
About their social status, or wealth:
She was only concerned about their health.
She knew:
There was little she hadn't been through.
And she liked her lovers violent, and vicious:
Queenie was sexually ambitious.
Now you know.
A fascinating woman, as they go.

She lived at present with a man named BurrsCollapse )

There may be more of The Wild Party tomorrow, in fact, I may do it part-by-part for the next nine days, until you have the full epic. We shall see.

In the mean-time, here is a prompt list for a ficathon, please join in (I've posted some prompts up, and dammit, I want them written, even if I have to give them to you myself). http://xsomethingbluex.livejournal.com/193031.html

Here is why you should add gingerhobbit to your Twitter if you haven't already, she throws up utter gems like this - Bohemian Rhapsody for scanner, floppy disk, and 8bit computer.

And finally from daegaer Fir Tree Growing INSIDE MAN'S LUNG. I haven't got the right words, but these come the closest to what I want to say - "What fuckery is this?!?!"

And now I have to run before Lidl closes!

plum x.
Days 15, 16 and 17 Coming right up. The parental was of no use in the choosing department, so I've fished my books out again. If I'm up to it tomorrow, expect a large extract from a very very long poem, one that I love dearly, and hopefully, if I can find one, a link to the rest of it.

Day 15

Drunk - Carol Ann Duffy

Suddenly the rain is hilarious.
The moon wobbles in the dusk.

What a laugh. Unseen frogs
belch in the damp grass.

The strange perfumes of darkening trees.
Cheap red wine

and the whole world a mouth.
Give me a double, a kiss.

- Another Carol Ann Duffy poem. I probably shouldn't be re-using authors, but I like her, we did a load of her poems in school and again in college, so I've read a large quantity of her works, and I enjoy it. This is one of her shorter poems. I'm planning on posting up a much longer one of hers later this month. It makes me grin evilly.

Day 16 (Happy Birthday mygorgeousgirlfriend. I love you lots, and this poem's for you because it makes no sense and nor do I!)

I Went to the Pictures Tomorrow - Playground Rhyme/Anon

I went to the pictures tomorrow
I took a front seat at the back,
I fell from the pit to the gallery
And broke a front bone in my back.
A lady she gave me some chocolate,
I ate it and gave it her back.
I phoned for a taxi and walked it,
And that's why I never came back.

- From my Book of Nonsense Verse. I shall have to scoot over to Em's at some point to scan in the brilliant Quentin Blake illustration, as well as the one for Jabberwocky - Day Eight, and Spike Milligan's illustrated Contagion - Day Five.

Day 17 (Today!)

Now we are Sick - Neil Gaiman and Stephen Jones

Dear Child, may our tales hereafter
Give you cause for happy laughter;
Let them tint your cheeks with joy
(Pink for girl, and blue for boy),
May they never make you quail
Shiver, quiver, or turn pale...

If our fancies, grues and gories,
Ever cause you needless worries
We are very very sorry -
But they're only fairy stories.

Dreams won't eat you, nor will mist,
Wicked witches don't exist,
Clowns are friendly, rabbits tame,
Dead don't walk, nor mutants maim...

This and more we do declaim,
(Just be careful all the same).

- Written as an intro to a collection of poetry by the editors. 'Now we are Sick' is actually a really good book of gross poems, and it's written for adults. You might think gross-out poetry would be the ideal thing to get kids interested (I'm thinking 'There's an Awful Lot of Weirdos in Our Neighbourhood' - Colin McNaughton) but this has pretty gruesome descriptions in it. Not one for the wee ones or the easily disgusted.

Anyway, I have work in the morning, so I'd best be off to sleepytimes. Evening all.

plum x.

Poetry Time Again!

(Yes I know I missed the day by a couple'a hours. It's not the next day until you've been to sleep, everyone knows that!)

So with no ado, here's Today's Poem.

red is my love

is my love
and pale.
cherry lips so sweet to taste.

is my love
so blue.
storm-tossed seas roar in her eyes.

is my love
spun gold.
winded strands, so pools her hair.

is my love
her skin.
clothed in silk from head to toe.

is my love
her heart.
it beats for me and only me.

Hope you like.

See you in a few hours, when I hope I'll have worked out what Today's actual poem will be. Mum's no bloody help, she can't think of any good ones. apiphile I hope you got yesterday's bee one, and I've got another bee one in reserve if I need to post a poem sharpish, so lookout for it!

plum x.

P.S. Got bored enough to muck about in Audacity, so here's me reading the above poem!

Oooh, poetry!

So Here are the FOUR poems I owe you guys for the last few days. I didn't mean to desert you. Not that any of you really noticed, and with good reason. I have the tendency to wander off in the middle of things, but this time I'm determined to see the whole month's worth of poems through. To actually complete something.

...Speaking of which, I did find my old notebooks from way back when, and since nobody's really about much I'm probably going to post some of my old (for old, read crap and pretentious) poetry I wrote way back when, at college etc.

Anywho, once more unto the breach and all that...

Poem for Day 10

The Reading Mother - Strickland Gillilan

I had a Mother who read me things
That wholesome life to a child's heart brings –
Stories that stir with an upward touch.
Oh that every Mother were such!

You may have tangible wealth untold
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be.
I had a Mother who read to me.

- It's because of my Mum that my entire house was filled with books growing up, and that I spent every rainy day curled into a ball with a stack of books and my head full of amazing worlds.

Poem for Day 11

Fleas - Anon

Had 'em.

- This is sometimes attributed to Ogden Nash or a number of other poets, but the truth is, no one really knows where it came from, only that it is the world's shortest poem.

Poem for Day 12

Quiet Riot - rmccartt@highland.net

Quietly I stand in the warm sunlight
quietly I become a part of their riot
out and in and out again
Dancing and wiggling, chin to chin
Whirling and twirling
a twist and a spin
go this way then that
all to an end
Gather and carry
place to place I roam
stop here, stop there,
then carry it home.
In thru the door,
my burden undone
task to task, to each his own.
Work, ah work, it's never all done.

- A poem I found online about Bees. Especially for Derek. Because bees are fucking awesome! (I am sorely tempted to make that 'thru' into 'through', but that's just because I only really accept 'thru' as being a word when you're getting food in your car.)

And Finally For Today!

Poem for Day 13

Geek Love Poem - Anon

- I wanted to find something simple and geeky. I did. (You can buy the t-shirt from ThinkGeek if you like.)

Again no sign-off. Too tired and bewildered.

plum x.

I've been out and about today...

...I cite that as my excuse for posting this late on in the day.

Poem Time! And it's another transcript for me. I've got the audio track for you to download at the bottom of the post too.

Monkey the Fun-Duster by Jon Richardson (aged 24 & 1/2)

It starts with a tingle, way up inside one nostril
an ichorous sneeze that flew too high.
What follows is an urge to skip.
Or you might just giggle but not know why.

Some think it's just a sugar-rush,
others think it's fairies,
from Gods to Guardian Angels though,
the reason always varies.

Mere posturing I can reveal,
for of the truth we can be so much prouder.
It's cheekier you see, and furrier -
a simian with magic powder.

He spreads the sediment of satisfaction
with the hairy-backed hands of fate.
To put things in a simpler fashion;
he puts the 'mate' back in 'primate'.

With no knowledge of who or what or why,
you innocently inhale.
The magic mist inside you now,
you'll chuckle without fail.

A giddy high will come along
and it might seem to you at random.
But happiness and chimpanzees -
they always go in tandem.

I regret you'll never see his face
for he always walks behind.
For there's no need to be afraid,
everything he does is kind.

That he will never feel a hug
or hear your thanks is such a pity.
But no sooner do you know he's been
than he's in another city.

Do call out though, if you think he's near,
it's always worth a try.
You might just hit the jackpot
and share the same success as I.

'Who goes there?' I cried into the darkness,
the only reply that he could muster
was; 'I'm everything you'll ever need my friend.
I'm Monkey the Fun-Duster.'

And so I smiled.
And went to sleep.


And HERE's the link to download the audio of Jon Richardson reading it.
Day Eight, and I have clearly lost my mind. I love this poem, nonsense or not, and I'm typing it up from memory, and I know I'm not the only one amongst you who can do so. (And then I checked my book of nonsense verse to make sure I'd spelt everything right, and to get the graphology!)

In other news, and before I crack on with the poem, I want to draw people's attention to my detailed post about The London Film and Comic Con and why I'm prepared to organise any Cardiff residents who want to come, by sorting out Hotels and Transport, so long as I know in advance. It's on the 18th and 19th of July (a weekend) and it looks to be fantastic. Please, please, please read my post (linked above) for a list of guests and prices for entry, and if you do want to come, let me know.

Anyway, that done with, let's crack on with today's poem!


'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
   Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.

'Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
   The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
    The frumious Bandersnatch!'

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
   Long time the manxome foe he sought-
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
    And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
   The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
    And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
   The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with it's head
    He went galumphing back.

'And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
   Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
    He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig and the slithy toves
   Did gyre and gible in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.

Lewis Carroll

I might put it under a cut, if anyone's that bothered, but it's not that long, and I'd much rather leave it for people to read at a glance instead of having to open the whole entry up.

hope you all have/are having a frabjous day,

plum x.

So apiphile was right...

Coda by Dorothy Parker

There's little in taking or giving,
There's little in water or wine;
This living, this living, this living
Was never a project of mine.
Oh, hard is the struggle, and sparse is
The gain of the one at the top,
For art is a form of catharsis,
And love is a permanent flop,
And work is the province of cattle,
And rest's for a clam in a shell,
So I'm thinking of throwing the battle-
Would you kindly direct me to hell?

I like Dorothy Parker. She wrote some very odd things. I'll possibly post some other things of hers later on, when I run out of other poems to post.

In case you needed to know I'm still embroiled in the 'Adventure, Excitement and Really Wild Things' of Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect and Zaphod Beeblebrox. It would be Trillian too, but we're in series two of the radio show, and Trillian's not in it much. (She gets a mention or two.) Also I'm trying to read fic, so if there's any really good Hitchhiker's Guide Fic that you know of please rec it to me.

Again, no idea how to sign off, so I'm not going to.

plum x.

P.S. I found some really great screencaps of David Dixon looking extrememly pretty and young, (and a few of him looking extremely pretty and not-so-young) and I am considering making icons (and/or possibly working out how to stalk him...) I may consider sharing them if anyone's interested...
Tomorrow, under the watchful guidance of apiphile, I shall probably be bringing you Dorothy Parker Poetry.

For now, I bring you the Third Worst poetry in the Universe.

Oh freddled gruntbuggly, thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.

Groop I implore thee,
my foonting turlingdromes.

And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!

Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz (via Douglas Adams)

And now I have jobs to do, and must run away and do them before I get lynched.

plum x.

This poem is highly Contagious...


Elephants are contagious!
Be careful how you tread.
An Elephant that's been trodden on
Should be confined to bed!

Leopards are contagious too.
Be careful tiny tots.
They don't give you a temperature
But lots and lots - of spots.

The Herring is a lucky fish
From all disease inured.
Should he be ill when caught at sea;
Immediately - he's cured!

Spike Milligan

Because really, how could I possibly do an entire month of poetry without the magnificent Spike and his amazingly odd meanderings? I desperately want to scan his books into the computer (I have several of the older ones), but I have no idea how to work myemily's scanner, and I haven't got one myself, so for the moment it will have to go un done. This may change by the time I get bored enough to wander over here with a huge stack of Milligan in my bag and just play with poke at the scanner until it works, I don't know...

...I cannot think of a way to sign off this post, so I'm not going to, I'm just going to stop.

plum x.

P.S. Where have you all gone? Is everyone at home wallowing in a sea of chocolate just because it's easter soon? Oh I see, it's like that is it? Just us cranky misanthropic bastards left then. Hmmph.
So Today's Poem isn't exactly a poem. It's a song. But it's a Song about a poem, and it's sort of poem-like...

Okay, I admit it, Today is kindof a cop-out, but I promise it's a really good song, and we'll be back to the poetry proper again tomorrow. I have no idea where you'd hear this song except on the CD I have, because I'm pretty sure it was never released by them at the time, or if it was it was the arse-end of a B-side, so you probably haven't heard it. I have no way of streaming (again), so I've uploaded to sendspace (again), and I hope you enjoy it.

Today's 'poem' is by Simon and Garfunkel, and it's called -

'A Poem on the Underground Wall'.

Share and Enjoy.

plum x.

P.S. It's a Live recording, so there's a bit of chatter explaining how the song came to be beforehand. Which, since it's a .wma file, my glorious new software Audacity (I seriously recommend it by the way) doesn't like to play with, so I can't edit it out.

P.P.S. There's a meme I want to get going again, an 'Ask 5 Questions' meme, so I invite you to ask me five questions, which I'll answer in my next post, and I'll ask you five questions also, which you can take back to your journals, along with the following header. -

1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favorite lyric to your current favorite song. Or your favorite kind of sandwich. Something random. Whatever you like.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you ask them five questions.

Today's poem and My Life, such as it is...

Today's poem is one of my very favourites, and I knew yesterday that it'd be a hard slog getting it down because my only contact with the poem is the audio version I have on my 'Neil Gaiman reads...' CD. So you know it's Neil Gaiman, and you know I love it, you'll still probably not have heard it, it's fairly obscure, and obviously the book version is illustrated by Dave McKean, although I've never seen it in the shops or anything... I'm drifing. Sorry.

Today's poem (epic sized) is Crazy Hair, and I hope you read it all the way through.
I have two little things for you at the end, under the cut. A youtube link to a live reading of Crazy Hair and a sendspace link to my recorded reading of Crazy Hair so you can download it.

Anyhow, with no futher fuss, and very little ado I give you:

Crazy Hair.Collapse )

Also I promised you a recording of me reading out the poem from yesterday. Having updated my software (Oh gods, the saga, the drama, the dilemma!) I am now able to do this for you! But you have to download it, because I have no way of hosting a .wav file online available to stream, so :p to you. ...You can always delete it afterwards. I'm planning on using my newfound powers of recording to create a lot (I mean a lot) of Podfic, so look out for it in future.

So HERE's my reading of Education for Leisure, and have a good day.

plum x.

P.S. Yes, I do sound like that. No I'm not going to apologise.
Education for Leisure

Today I am going to kill something. Anything.
I have had enough of being ignored and today
I am going to play God. It is an ordinary day,
a sort of grey with boredom stirring in the streets

I squash a fly against the window with my thumb.
We did that at school. Shakespeare. It was in
another language and now the fly is in another language.
I breathe out talent on the glass to write my name.

I am a genius. I could be anything at all, with half
the chance. But today I am going to change the world.
something’s world. The cat avoids me. The cat
knows I am a genius, and has hidden itself.

I pour the goldfish down the bog. I pull the chain.
I see that it is good. The budgie is panicking.
Once a fortnight, I walk the two miles into town
For signing on. They don’t appreciate my autograph.

There is nothing left to kill. I dial the radio
and tell the man he’s talking to a superstar.
he cuts me off. I get our bread-knife and go out.
The pavements glitter suddenly. I touch your arm.

- Carol Ann Duffy.


Not ljcut 'cause it's only tiny and I'm lazy today. I first found this poem when we did it for As level English Lit. I'll have to do a voicepost of it, cause I love it in a way that you can only really hear, and when I read it out to my college English Lit class I got told repeatedly that it was fucked up and I was too.

So yeah. Happy April Second...

plum x.

P.S. Again, feel free to post your own poems (favorites by others, or even your own works) in the comments. I'd love to see them, and they might turn out to be some of my favourites too.

(Inter)National Poetry Month...

So apparently this month is National Poetry Month.

I'm hoping to remember this fact so that I can post a poem every day. I doubt that any of the poetry will be be mine for two main reasons, 1 - Any poetry I may have written in previous years is so incredibly pretentious it would actually hurt you (and me) to read it, and 2 - even if it wasn't it's in a box somewhere in one of my old notebooks, and I've no idea where it is.

So instead I bring you good poetry, and we start with one of my favourites, and the reason for me having thirty-or-so tiny little people living in my brain. The Jumblies, by Edward Lear...

Far and few, far and few, Are the lands where the Jumblies live; Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, And they went to sea in a Sieve.Collapse )

More tomorrow, and thanks to everyone who offered support and advice over the whole CV thing. It was most appreciated as well as very very useful.

plum xxx.

ETA: nevaendinstorey's posted her favourite poem in my comments thread, so if you feel like you want to do the same, please share the poetry!love, but remember, I've got a poem to post every day this month, so don't get too trigger-happy! x
I am massively fucked off because I'm writing my CV and haven't the faintest fucking clue what to put in the 'Hobbies and Interests' section. I read. I blog. I do this while listening to music. Occasionally when I'm not paralysed by crippling anxiety attacks I go outside and drink tea in cafes. I have no other interests.

Help anyone? Seriously, anything I can tell them that seems plausible, but that they won't actually be able to call me on. I need to lie, I'm not that interesting.

...In other news I am a horrible person because through the power of the Internet (Oh how I love her sweet cabled embrace) I have discovered that my nemesis/mortal enemy/that bastard from school is having a particularly shitty time of it at the moment, and my first reaction to his plight was to laugh. I have Schadenfreude, but he has Karma. Next time you won't be such a bitch, fucker. Take note and do not strive to hurt others for no reason lest it come back to bite you in the ass.

Love to you and yours, but not to you CV. You suck.

plum x.
So I've been meaning to repost a bunch of things for some time now...

From copperbadge:
Why Chicago Students Rock. - "Over 100 students gathered on South University Avenue and in Hutchinson Courtyard Monday to demonstrate against six protesters from the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) advocating against the University of Chicago, the Chicago Theological Seminary (CTS), and the University of Chicago Law School’s employment of Barack Obama."
The Chicago Frat Boys are also awesome. - "This video of a Chicago fraternity "welcoming" the evil Westboro Baptist "god hates fags" protesters to their college earlier this week with a song, dance, and "no tolerance for intolerance" banner is basically the most heartwarming fucking thing I've ever seen in my entire life."

From apiphile:
Test your ability to identify bloodspatters. - I did worryingly well. I clearly watch too much Dexter/NCIS etc.
Stewart Lee interviews himself. - You should read it. Brilliant.

From requiem2adream:
According to some 'Therapists' (and I use the term loosely) The Gay is a disease which they can cure.

From Neil Gaiman's Twitter:
Listen to Neil's Story Chivalry, read by Neil.
TweetGrid - Weird, but cool thing, a twitter mapping thing. This is Neil's @reply map.

In other news, I've watched the first series of Supernatural, and have learned many things from it. The following is a spoilerless account of Supernatural Series 1. It may contain nuts.

Cut for Twitterings.Collapse )

That is all. Except to say apiphile - If you haven't already, watch Supernatural. It's awful, but so far awful it comes back around to good, and while the scripts are dodgy and the CGI a bit obvious, there's a lot of very good 'Tortureporn' Or rather, lots and lots of people getting the crap kicked out of them and being covered artfully in blood. You would approve. I think.

plum x.
I woke up at half 5 in the morning, grumbling and growling every step of the way, and after scrambling around for things like shoes, clothes and money I headed out of the door towards the Castle. I yawned and moaned every step of the way, my ankles were killing me, but I digress...

The Daytime...Collapse )

After that there was quite a dull bloke, so i decided to bugger off back to Piccadilly and see if I could find the Comedy Club so I knew where I was headed, and then go get some food. As it happened, I swung by the tiny Tesco and got food, and then went to find the Comedy Club, where I joined the queue, which even though it was 5.45, had still formed, so I sat and ate cheap Tesco sandwiches while waiting for 6.30 to roll around so they'd let us in. It was then that I realised I'd forgotten to tweet any of my adventures, so I got right on to it, I would say sorry for the spammage, but since I got back to nearly 250 tweets on my feed I can't say I'm all that sorry for you busy little lot!

...the Evening... (Aka - The Show!)Collapse )

Just in case you didn't get that - Richard Vranch is goddamn hot, and I don't give a flying fuck how old he is, how most people would disagree with me over the hotness, or indeed the fact that my mind, no matter how many times I have to tell it that he's straight, insists that he is and always has been shagging Tony, I would still do incredibly dirty things to that man, which I cannot write down here because I'd manage to eliminate most of my flist in one fell swoop.

...and the Nighttime.Collapse )

And so here I am, no pictures of my adventure, because my camera battery is completely fucked, and nothing save a warm fuzzy glow, and a signed ticket remains of my full, rich day.

I'd quite like you to read all of my post, and tell me what you think (suggestions for next time, geeking out over various stupidly geeky things I did this time, good comicbook store locations, you know, the works) but it's a long post with no pretty pictures to break the flow, so I understand if you don't read it all.

But please do read the show bit, because it was fucking amazing, and I want you guys to see it. I wish you'd been there too!

flail and love to ya all,

plum xxxxxxxxxx.


Richard Vranch...

Richard Fucking Vranch.

Oh Guh!

I'll post properly when I'm back in Cardiff, but for the moment, just... Richard Vranch.

Things that plum likes...

"Excuse me Captain, but I must address a safety concern. Have you improperly holstered your phaser within your regulation starfleet slacks, or are you simply mirthful as a result of my presence?" - it_grrl

"From Saturday night, observing two very drunk teenage girls trying to walk, "sometimes you don't so much need Rohypnol as a butterfly net."" - apiphile

"That man has an abnormal interest in the minutiae of our domesticity." - iscaris - How The Light Gets In

"No I think Holmes does a great deal of behind-the-scenes work to make Watson behave the way he wants him to. And every so often Watson throws a fit and complains that he doesn't have to do that, he could just ask and Holmes is all *smokes* "I do not believe it would", followed by an extensive breakdown of Watson's psychology and then sulking with his violin." - apiphile

"Oh no! My house is on fire!!!
As is my head!
...This will not be a very good day." - Random Quote from Flickr

‘by golly I’d like to stick my genitalia up his orifice, if you catch my rather explicit drift.’ - the_rusty_bird

"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream; people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace. We've got work to do." - The Doctor

"And is there maybe another way to teach me this without beating the shit out of me?"
"This way's the most fun," Claude answered, and stabbed Peter through the shoulder. - sam_storyteller

"Adopted by Vikings. Only your brother." - nilchance & beanside. From their epic fic Of Bastard Saints Go Read It!

"Just because a dog chases cars doesn't mean he wants to catch one. It's just an impulse. Comes from being strung too tight." - glasz_housez

Trevor grinned. "Can I eat some candy now?"
Pete sighed. "Knock yourself out. Spit out any razorblades."
"I'll add 'em to my collection," Trevor promised. - aggybird

"It's not that I know everything, but I know enough to see a bunch of elephants in the room, and I'm the only one who knows the elephants are there. Everyone else continues pretending they're just pieces of furniture. Maybe eventually someone will say, "Chuck, stop feeding the armchair peanuts," because I'm not good at ignoring things, not really. Alcohol helps for that though, and so does writing." - twoskeletons

"No, by all means, abuse my powers for delicious pancakes, then thank me in adventurous ways while still ever so slightly sticky." - entangled_now

"He opens the fridge while the kettle boils, cautiously, since living with Sherlock has taught him to beware of anything that's temperature-controlled. The fact that there's usually more in the way of disturbing experiments in there than food isn't even surprising anymore. This morning it mostly contains milk, half of which John just pours straight down the sink. Sherlock will occasionally have wild stabs at important life skills. Which seem to consist of buying milk and expecting it to magically become tea or coffee.

There's a danger that it becomes tea or coffee far more often than it probably should. Since that just continues the cycle of atrocious behaviour. Sherlock gets away with enough atrocious behaviour as it is. Though sometimes, when there's nothing spinning the wheels of Sherlock's brain at full speed he'll even buy bread. Possibly in the hope that it will become sandwiches. Maybe he thinks bread evolves into sandwiches if you leave it in on the side long enough." - From libraryofsol's Thermodynamics series.

"Fanfiction: stripping away morals one layer at a time" - tellytubby101

"Whatever else the Doctor is; brilliant, amazing, fantastic, unbelievable, ridiculous, wonderful... He is not safe. And he never will be."

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