A Murdery Mystery on the Stage

Calling American Flisters! I need YOUR Help!

2009-10-08T05:38:07Z

So I need a bit of help from any Americans on my flist. I don't think there are many of you, but I need your lingustic skills my friends...

I need some words for things. I have pictures, so please comment and let me know what the things are in the US, if they're the same as over here in the UK or different. THANKS!

Okay first, I need to know a word for pram. This is what I mean by pram. Or buggy, although this is what I mean by buggy. I need the catch-all term for a thing you push a baby along in.

By the way, these are references for a fic, if you hadn't already guessed!

Secondly I need to know if there's another term for this which is a baby carseat.

Thirdly, is there another word for 'bassinet'? This.

And lastly, is there another word for a cot, this? Specifically a drop-sided cot.

There are another couple of words that I'm going to try and get pictures for, but I have no idea if I can...

Okay piggyback ride? - It's a thing mostly kids do, or grownups do for kids... It's just easier to carry a smaller person like that, because they can steady themselves by holding onto your shoulders, and you can secure them by holding onto their legs. I have no idea why it's called a piggyback ride, it just is. Is it called that in the US? If it's an adult carrying a kid, often the kid will not just cling to their back, but perch on their shoulders and lean on the adult's head. This is still called a piggyback ride in the UK.

Farley's Rusks - I should probably explain this one as well, it's a kind of biscuit thing that you give to babies, when they have only a few teeth, they're soft but a little bit crunchy and taste of oatmeal. Babies tend to suck them and drool on them until they turn into squishy biscuit-mush and then get it everywhere whilst trying to eat them. It may just be a brand-name thing, so if you have an equivalent in the states, please let me know! By the way, they're not just any biscuits, they are specifically for babies. (More's the pity, cos they're really tasty and I feel weird buying them without having a baby as an excuse.)

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. - This sounds like another stupid one in my head, because I'm pretty sure they came from America in the first place, but I need to know if they were called anything else. The original Power Rangers, none of this SPD, Dino-Force new stuff...

Marzipan. - As this one is more difficult to explain the link isn't to just a picture of some marzipan, it's of how to put marzipan on a christmas cake. Marzipan basically is sugary solid-paste stuff, that tastes of almonds. It's naturally a sort of creamy colour and people put food colouring in it and dye it all different colours and make shapes out of it, so you also get marzipan fruits, little replicas of fruit, made out of marzipan, like this. I have no idea how to explain this any better, sorry. Also, do you have/make Christmas cake like the Christmas cake in the link? With the fruit cake, then the marzipan layer and then the icing layer? I really have no idea.

The last thing, I can't find a picture for, but it's 'hand-me-downs', 'cast-offs'. Clothes that get passed on from another person in your family, usually an older sibbling or cousin. Ones that either don't fit them anymore, or aren't in fashion anymore, but are still perfectly serviceable and not ripped or broken in any way, just old.

Okay, aaaand that's it! THANK YOU SO MUCH! And now I shall collapse!

plum x.

Oh, just kill me with a brick and get it over and done...

2009-10-05T02:18:10Z

So I haven't posted since September. Which is shit. This is becase I am in the 'I don't wish to communicate with other people, I just want to hibenate' stage of the year, more commonly known as 'Winter is coming bitches!'

I also have bronchitis, as any of you who haven't heard my rambling commentaries on twitter won't already know. Yeah, I'm thinking in double negatives, be aware!

If you want to know what I'm doing, check twitter, otherwise, here is a ~~brief~~ summary of me from the last week or so:

Am using my daylight lamp as my brain has recently noticed the lack of daylight we are having lately and has decided it wants to hibernate. 2:28 PM Sep 19th from Echofon

Problem: I have too much gin in my kitchen. Solution: I must drink it and then I will not have so much gin. 10:23 PM Sep 19th from Echofon
Problem: I have no lemonade to drink the gin with. Solution: I learn to drink gin and coke. 10:24 PM Sep 19th from Echofon
I should probably eat something that isn't crackers, shouldn't I? ...I have actual food, it's just that I'm kinda woozy and brain!fuzzy. 10:39 PM Sep 19th from Echofon
@niblick_iii My logic is impeccable. Sadly I am NOT allowed to drink all the gin in the house or I will poison my liver. I found more. 10:40 PM Sep 19th from Echofon in reply to niblick_iii
@niblick_iii I am not drinking ANY of the gin, at least not right now, 'cause then I have to follow the code of gin and weep on some stairs. 11:14 PM Sep 19th from Echofon in reply to niblick_iii
@niblick_iii It is a rule of gin. If you are female and consuming gin you will end up sitting on stairs and weeping about your dress. 11:28 PM Sep 19th from Echofon in reply to niblick_iii

DID I MENTION TODAY HOW AWESOME @niblick_iii IS?!?! Cause OMIGOD she's FUCKING AMAZING and I *hearthands* her so much! ilu Michelle. *cwtch* 3:59 AM Sep 24th from Echofon

Today has been long. Another Societies Fayre might kill me. Luckily I'm going home to see my fambly! A flying visit for 2days. Need sleep... 5:37 PM Sep 24th from web
Also I need fooood. I have not eaten today. I... am going to make a sandwich! And then I am going to nom it. Mmmmmmmmsammich! 5:39 PM Sep 24th from web
Holy crap! I'd forgotten just how many stars you can see when you're stranded in the middle of nowhere waiting for your ride... 11:04 PM Sep 24th from txt
Woo! I have been rescued. Fear not, lovely tweeples, i am now safe, and not standing outside a station in the arse end of nowhere. 11:18 PM Sep 24th from txt

...Why did I decide that evil hospital/body horror movie > zombie rat people movie? This is so weird. I need blood and death right now. 11:47 PM Sep 25th from Echofon
But body horror aside, I'm enjoying playing 'who's going to die?' I think the brunette chick and possibly the cute russian boy will survive. 11:54 PM Sep 25th from Echofon
...Or I could be wrong. I think Cute Russian boy might be next to get ganked instead. 11:55 PM Sep 25th from Echofon
Cute Russian Boy looks like Henry from Blood Ties, but skinnier. He is about to die horribly though, I think. 11:58 PM Sep 25th from Echofon
Aw, Cute Russian Boy got stabbed with a syringe, looks like he's about to be taken apart. Stoner Boy's locked in the morgue. 12:03 AM Sep 26th from Echofon
Live organ donation? Monty Python did this better. Stoner Boy's tripping and scared stiff. Cute Russian Boy can't take much more dissection. 12:06 AM Sep 26th from Echofon
...Well that was unexpected... Naked man with organs falling out of his chest. Surely that's not where you normally keep intestines? 12:08 AM Sep 26th from Echofon
Hah! Lumbar Puncture of FAIL. I laughed. Also, how did I know Creepy Doctor would drink the spinal fluid? *snerk* 12:14 AM Sep 26th from Echofon
Why is this godawful movie making me hungry for goodness sake? I'm not @weevilqueen and this isn't Countrycide... 12:17 AM Sep 26th from Echofon
Oh crap. That's not good. Trigger-y scene is very fucking trigger-y. Stoner Boy was hallucinating and cutting himself. *Meep* 12:20 AM Sep 26th from Echofon
Huh. Looks like Stoner Boy might make it. He's stopped hallucinating and started thinking. Brunette Chick will definitely live. 12:38 AM Sep 26th from Echofon
@weevilqueen Godawful film called Autopsy. So far I think everyone's dead barring Evil Nurse and Brunette Chick. 12:41 AM Sep 26th from Echofon in reply to weevilqueen
@weevilqueen Oh no, I'm wrong, Stoner Guy asploded himself, Creepy Doc and Henchman no.2 but Brunette Chick's bf is still alive. 12:42 AM Sep 26th from Echofon in reply to weevilqueen
@weevilqueen Mind you, his organs are all suspended from the ceiling on hooks... So he might not last long. 12:43 AM Sep 26th from Echofon in reply to weevilqueen
Aww, everyone's dead except Brunette Chick. How did I guess? Hah. Even though they tried to drill into her skull. Fail. 12:48 AM Sep 26th from Echofon
Oops. Creepy Doctor is not as asploded as we might have guessed... Hee! Brunette Chick's fighting back though. 12:49 AM Sep 26th from Echofon
Bah, stupid ending to stupid film. Should've gone with zombie rat people. *shrugs* Oh well, I'll know for next time. 12:52 AM Sep 26th from Echofon

@intothenightx Ah siblings. Can't live with them... Because if you do you want to kill them after five seconds. *hugs* 11:01 AM Sep 26th from Echofon in reply to intothenightx

Hah! Oh UK, never change. I've just seen a sign in a cafe with step-by-step illustrated instructions on how to wash your hands... Fail. 1:51 PM Sep 26th from txt

Zombie Pub Crawl was fucking awesome! LOVED IT! So glad I went. Thank you @cardiffscifisoc for an awesome night. RAWR!!! *love* 2:07 AM Sep 27th from Echofon
Ok, off to cleanse self of makeup. I may have gotten carried away. Others looked like people dressed as zombies. I look like I do eat flesh. 2:29 AM Sep 27th from Echofon

Not liking having the lurgie. Ick. Whole thing deeply unpleasant. Everyone best be hoping I get better asap. Coughing stuff up's disgusting. 9:37 PM Sep 27th from Echofon
@Ozalina Hope you get better my lovely. I need either a doctor or the common cold centre, I haven't decided yet. *anti-lurgie huggles* 12:22 AM Sep 28th from Echofon in reply to Ozalina
@weevilqueen Sweetie, we already know which doctor you want. I can't decide if I should be paid for being poorly or just languish instead. 12:31 AM Sep 28th from Echofon in reply to weevilqueen
@weevilqueen I'm ill too, what's wrong with you? Mine's flu. I'm coughing up yellow stuff. It's gross... Of Course you needed to know that. 12:44 AM Sep 28th from Echofon in reply to weevilqueen

Yesterday I couldn't decide, the Doctor or the Common Cold Centre. Given that I've just woken up coughing up blood, I'm thinking DOCTOR... 8:13 AM Sep 28th from Echofon
Doctor's appointment achieved! I've got to go along later. Urgh. I'd like to be paid for being ill, but not enough to forego the Doctor. 8:39 AM Sep 28th from Echofon
@weevilqueen Doctor says broncitis (sp?) and I've been prescribed amoxycillin and sleep. Wish I could scrub my throat out . I hate phlegm... 6:07 PM Sep 28th from Echofon in reply to weevilqueen

Minestrone is good soup, but it looks really weird. Mine has peas and noodles in it. I has a nom. :) 8:01 PM Sep 28th from txt
...Whatever else you think about supernatural, you can't deny it has an awesome soundtrack. 8:09 PM Sep 28th from txt
@weevilqueen Yes, but I have a gag reflex for phlegm. I do not like coughing and then feeling like I need to throw up. 9:58 PM Sep 28th from Echofon in reply to weevilqueen
Started to go shaky and sweat lots. Think I'd better eat something with sugar in it before I pass out. I hate being ill. 10:00 PM Sep 28th from Echofon
On the other hand I like complaining, so being ill gives me something to complain about. Thanks Tweeps for putting up with it. Love you guys 10:02 PM Sep 28th from Echofon

Being ill makes me want to write sappy domestic drabbles in my fandoms where someone is sick and gross and someone else looks after them. 12:45 AM Sep 29th from Echofon
Since my response to 'Be careful or your bronchitis will turn into pneumonia' was 'I'm wearing a scarf!' I doubt it would end well. *sigh* 12:47 AM Sep 29th from Echofon

Update from the state of plum: Am now coughing up more blood than phlegm, also have lost all balance. Lungs feel crackly. I hate bronchitis. 11:59 AM Sep 29th from Echofon
... Okay, what?!? My brain just went crosseyed. No, seriously, that's what it feels like. The fuck? Ow. 7:57 PM Sep 29th from Echofon

NB: Having cuts and bruises does NOT make people more attractive except in your brain because you are WRONGLY WIRED somewhere up there. 2:14 AM Sep 30th from Echofon

I ♥ Singularity, but the high-pitched whining of the Somnus computers is making my brain melt out of my ears... 1:21 PM Sep 30th from Echofon
Dammit, I'd forgotten how angry Singularity makes me. Stop making the TARDIS scream you bastards! She's in pain. Stop hurting her! D: 2:23 PM Sep 30th from Echofon
On the other hand Singularity has some brilliant examples of why snarky ginger alien schoolboys should be in everything! Turlough!squee. :D 2:27 PM Sep 30th from Echofon

The novelty of coughing up various bodily fluids is beginning to wear off. I want my lungs back now. 3:14 PM Sep 30th from Echofon
Damn you all for not being here to sing 'Soft Kitty' to me. *pout* I'll have to sing it to myself... Can someone call Jim Parsons for me? 3:50 PM Sep 30th from Echofon

Hmm. I think I need more sleeps. Or less ill. 9:47 PM Sep 30th from Echofon

@neilhimself My #comfortbooks are always books I read first when I was young. Magic and intrigue, pirates, smugglers and adventure... 12:11 AM Oct 3rd from Echofon
@neilhimself Don't have my own kids, but working with kids and having Godkids is the nextbestthing when it comes to passing on #comfortbooks 12:15 AM Oct 3rd from Echofon

I'd like to flail about Studio 60 being awesome, but I can't stop squeeing at Aaron Sorkin's writing for long enough to be coherant. 1:42 AM Oct 4th from Echofon

Urgh. Am now wheezing like a dying dog, or alternatively like Muttely laughing but slower and more painful... Reeeally hate bronchitis. about 2 hours ago from Echofon
Dear Brain, I would like to not be crazy now. Kthanxbai. P.S. Also please tell Body to get the fuck better, my lungs are annoying me. about 1 hour ago from Echofon

And that was longer than I'd expected... I can't be arsed to put it behind a cut, I've spent too long cocking about with html already, you'll just have to scroll past it I'm afraid.

And I'm off to have more crazy. Night all.

IMPORTANT URGENT MESSAGE TO ALL

2009-09-09T12:10:30Z

I am a useless twat.

So I was supposed to post this to my lj about a week and a half ago, but I forgot. Everyone I've asked IRL has said no due to work constraints, money or whatever, so now I'm doing what I should have done before.

bethan_b_bad has a spare ticket to see La Cage aux Folles this Monday evening. It is her birthday, it is also the opening night with the new cast, John Barrowman will be debuting as Albin and Simon Burke as Georges. If you'd like the ticket please say so in comments, or call/text me, it's about £37 (I think) and it needs to go to someone.

If you have no idea what La Cage aux Folles is I've provided a link to the wiki above, and if you're still not convinced let me assure you it is worth the money, it's a gorgeous story as well as being utterly fabulous and wonderful.

If you definitely want the ticket, please, please get in touch.

I fail at lj. I am well aware of my suckitude. Please don't remind me.

2009-08-21T17:30:55Z

Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you.

Meme pinched from ceitfianna, as usual, who gave me these 5 things to write about. (I'm making a slight change to the meme, making it a bit more circuitous by adding that if you want to give me words as well as, or instead of, getting them I'll be happy to do more too!)

Doctor Who
Ah yes, Doctor Who. It's one of my favourite tv shows. Sadly the fandom is slightly further down in my list of fantasticness. I love the people who I know in the fandom, especially all the old bods who've been so lovely and helped me to get on so much in a fandom that it didn't occur to me to check for until after the new series started, even though I'd watched re-runs of the old series' as a kid, but I know that out there there's a LOT of batshit insane people, a lot of fanwank and a lot of rivalry and shipwars. I couldn't imagine not being in the fandom, but I'm so glad I've manged to avoid most, if not all, of the drama by staying well back from the sidelines.

Wales
Is where I live, and where I love to live. I was definitely not born here, and although I claim half-Welshness because my dad was born in Swansea and brought up there until he went off to school, I'm very much not a native. I wish I was. I utterly adore it here in Cardiff, and if anyone on my flist is EVER in town, just give me a shout and I'll be happy to show you the sights, I love showing off my city. Wales is an amazing place to live and I love it with every little bit of me, even the bits that miss Macclesfield and Bridport, and even though it rains eight days out of every ten. (The other two days are mostly overcast by the way.)

Discworld
Mmmmmm. I adore the Discworld, I would, in fact, choose to live there if I could, even forsaking Cardiff. *gasp* Yes, I know, sacriledge, but I love the stories that go on there, the implication that even though we mostly only follow the main characters in a story all the others have a wealth of things that they could tell you about, if only they had the time. Everyone in those books is a fully fleshed-out person, whether they're on the page for one line or three books, and that's why I love Terry's writing so much. It is like having another world to go to, like being transported, the characters LIVE in front of you and flicker behind your eyes and I just can't tell you how much I really and truly love these books. The fandom, such as it is, is miniscule but brilliant, and there are very few bad fic-writers in Discworld fandom (except in the Pit of Voles, but that's the exception for every fandom really) and I'm really pleased to be a tiny part of it.

Teaboy
A nickname for Ianto Jones, and a nickname for me. This all started two years ago for halloween, when a bunch of us dressed up as Torchwood, but honestly I think it's less to do with that, and more just because galacticconman is a hugely persuasive influence in my life and has managed to introduce me to more-or-less everyone famous we've ever met as "and this is my teaboy". It doesn't exactly help the image that she is basically Owen and enjoys pushing me around and I'm a fully paid-up member of the Sub Club (at least according to the Jokerists) and spend my whole life doing what other people tell me to do anyway, and so I'm used to it. I blame Emma. It's just easier.

Writing
Something that I love to try and do, and I enjoy it when I can, but I have the attention span of a kitten with a ball of string, and less determination than a stunned starfish, so I mostly start something with great gusto and then trail off to nothing, leaving a half-finished drabble behind. These days I collect prompts like stamps, picking them up, looking at them and putting them back again as I choose. Every so often I do finish a thing, usually because the person I'm writing it for pokes me hard enough to make me kick my brain into writing the rest, or because I've signed up for a ficathon, and I bloody HAVE to get the words down or I'll be thrown bodily from the internet. As you may well gather from this, I work best under pressure, which is why I can sit staring at two sentences on a page in a cafe for three hours and not be able to write one more word, and also be able to churn out five pages of A4 in a half-hour English exam. I should probably sign up to more things with deadlines. It might help me get better at pushing myself to do things.

...And that's is all. No cut, it's not that long. A Bientot! x

So apiphile linked us to the anonymeme...

2009-08-02T13:16:59Z

...so we could write stuff about her on it, and I was reading through the pages going 'I have never seen any of these people before I can't comment on them!' (apart from Del and Rose, obv.) SO I thought screw it, I'm not putting myself on this thing, I don't know anyone who frequents it. So here in my journal we're having a little party of randomness. I'm combining with Beci's much used and much loved Anonymeme to create a little well of anonymity.

Comment to this post with ANYTHING. If you want to vent, vent. If you want to discuss problems, discuss. If you want to tell me things about me, go ahead. If you want to tell me things about you, go ahead. Whatever you want to say RIGHT NOW, say it. But everything should be Anonymous. (To anon just write your comment and hit the button labelled 'More Options'.)

Go Forth My ~~Minions~~ Friends and Comment!

P.S. In Other News...

I CANNOT STOP WATCHING THIS! HELP!?!

Godzilla stomps down to the shops and brings back shiny things.

2009-07-30T18:48:25Z

So I went down to the shops and I found some AWESOME things.

I was looking for Batman Boxers so I went into the first shop (Primark). But they didn't have any, and I was sad. But I saw some awesome t-shirts which were very very cheap and looked like they belonged to Gabe Saporta (evil neon techno scene kid) and one that looked like it belonged to Frank Iero. I tried them on and they were so fabulous I had to buy them. I left the first shop feeling very confused.

Then I went into the second shop (Topshop) and they had some cartoon boxers and even some Superman ones, but the Batman ones they had were black and white and didn't look good at all, and were also far too small for me. And I was sad. But they did have some shorts-pyjama bottoms which weren't Batman, but were colourful and comic-book ish, so I bought them. I left the second shop also feeling confused.

Then I found the third shop (Next) where I found a pair of Joker boxers. Hoorah! I was very happy. They weren't exactly what I wanted, but given the circumstances, wouldn't the Joker be even better? Then I turned around and found a pair of boxers with Batman and Robin on them! I was so very happy I squeaked! They were exactly what I wanted, so I went and bought them (and because I am weak and they were half price I bought the Joker ones too). I left the third shop feeling very happy and smug.

I decided to walk home the long way round because I needed to find the tattoo places on city road. Somehow I managed to walk the entire length of city road and crwys road without finding a single place. (I know there's at least one, but I managed to miss it completely.) So I trudged on determined up the road, and ended up on whitchurch road where there is a place called Tattoo U. It was closed. I was annoyed so I kept on walking because I am a stubborn plum and I had prettymuch decided that I would keep walking until I found somewhere that was open or I'd end up at Tesco and buy myself comiseratory icecream instead. I kept walking past the coop and the Doctor's Surgery, rounded the corner and there it was. Cardiff Ink.

It was still open and the lovely man (his name is Jay) let me in even though he was about to close up and now I have a brand new lip peircing (I have two now.) and a happy smile on my slightly bruised face!

To cut a long story short I have cool boxers, cool t-shirts and a brand new hole in my face.

*GLEE*

HAPPY THURSDAY EVERYONE!

Godzilla Stomps Cardiff in Freak SatNav Mishap!

2009-07-30T13:32:35Z

bethan_b_bad borrowed my headset last night, so I can't do podficcing until she gets back from work and tells me where it is, but instead of that I'm going down the shops to get some Batman boxer shorts because goddamnit the Thursdayverse cosplay is reaching EPIC levels of awesome, and I want in on the action.

Also here is the podfic I did yesterday and forgot to link -

Saturday Night's All Right For Fighting (So Is Friday)

It's swear_jar and apiphile's Thursdayverse and won't make a damn bit of sense if you haven't read those first, or at least listened to them, so here is a link to the index from which you can find everything including fantastic fanart and brilliant cosplay.

The Thursdayverse Indexpost

Once I've done the whole lot of podfic I'll link them all in one post so Del can add them to the index for anyone as wants them.

Whut?

2009-07-29T17:26:07Z

Today I have stuff to do, so here is a meme in lieu of me actually doing that stuff, and also to distract you while I run away!

(a) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blog and replace any question that they dislike with a new, original question.
(b) Tag eight people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you.
Well, Beci tagged me, but it was fucking ages ago, so I'm ignoring that last part. I was looking for good memes to do and I went back through Beci's memes tag.

I tag gingerhobbit, oz_the_bobble, elephantqueen25, skitty_kat, apiphile, bethan_b_bad, niblick_iii and iron_nerd. As well as anyone else who wants to do it. ...It's not that long, it's not going under a cut.

What are your nicknames?
plum, fidget, Teaboy

How do you style your hair?
Style? No seriously, I let it dry once I've washed it. I do nothing to it.

What's the last book you read?
Currently in the middle of reading Tomas by James Palumbo. You should all read it because it's sick and twisted and brilliant.

What colour shirt are you wearing now?
My black Vince Ray t-shirt. (Fast Cars, Cheap Booze & Loose Women!)

~~If you could only have 5 songs to listen to for the rest of your life, which 5 would they be?~~ TOO HARD. I replace with this:
What are the last five songs you listened to voluntarily? (No random 'heard it in the street' music, the last five songs you switched on yourself.)
Free Design - Love You
Jacob Borschard - Batman Summer of 89
Boom De Yada!
Get Set Go - I Hate Everyone
Catatonia - Goldfish and Paracetemol
(I have uploaded them for your listening pleasure if you feel like listening to them.)

Is your ear itchy?
No, but my eye is.

Do you nap a lot?
I nap because I can't sleep for any great length of time. I'm so bad at falling asleep that I'll take any sleep I can get, if that happens to be 20 minutes of napping on the bus that's fine by me.

Who was the last person you hugged?
Oh crap! One of the girls when I said goodbye to them last night, but I fail at remembering which order it was in, so either Alex, Dani or Sarah...

What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
Currently I'm obsessing about Heroes a lot and also a little bit squeeing over bandom because I'm podficcing for Del and Jess.

What was the last thing you ate today?
Does a cup of tea count? I haven't eaten today. I have to podfic first, then I can go buy food. Thems the rules. Incentive you see.

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
How long does it take me to throw my pjs in a heap and climb into clean clothes? I tend to shower later in the day because if I'm up and dressed going somewhere I don't have time, and if I'm up and not going somewhere I'm too lazy to bust out the shower right away.

What websites do you visit daily?
Twitter, lj, gmail... That's it I think. I have daily webcomics and stuff, but I save them up for the weekend cause I like to read a few at a time.

What classes are you taking right now? And if you're not in school anymore, what's your job?
I'm not strictly in classes right now, and I have no job, but come September I should be rocking the English lectures.

What are you listening to, right now?
The sound of silence. Not the Simon and Garfunkel, I just have no music on at present.

What's the last song that got stuck in your head?
Free Design - Love You. That's why it's in the song list I had to play it to get it out of there.

What cell phone model do you own?
...It's a grey Nokia of some kind. A small brick with no special features whatsoever.

What is your favourite weather?
Raining. I'm pretty happy here in Cardiff.

How are you?
Ill. I have conjunctivitis and the beginnings of a sore throat.

Where would you see yourself in ten years?
Best case scenario - Teaching English to kids in a school somewhere. Worst case scenario - Dead.

THINGS!

2009-07-27T19:54:19Z

So I forgot to mention the two BIGGEST things before because I R DUMB.

1. Del's Gig! - For those of you who expressed an interest over the weekend (elephantqueen25 and oz_the_bobble especially, although niblick_iii wasn't there, and I think you'd like, as well as the fact that you're close enough to London not to need somewhere to stay) HERE! is the link to book tickets (which are only £7). My plan so far is to go on the Sunday because then I can watch the Jokerists, eat fairy cakes and have awesome funtiems, and then hang around afterwards and see Robin Ince in the same place a few hours later. I have tickets for both obtained from the aforelinked website, so you can do to. Please let me know what you're planning on so I can coordinate people if I need to.

2. Shiny! - I found the best shoes in the entire world! I was on ugly_crap and I found THESE!

Aren't they just the ugliest, gayest most ridiculous trainers in the history of ever?!?! I LOVE THEM! I want them, they're just so disgusting they burn my eyes and I neeeeeed them. *flail* They even have the rainbow tick of gay on the side.

WOO!

While I was typing the THIRD awesome thing happened, which is that Died on a Wednesday finished uploading, so here it is.

Died On A Wednesday

For those not in the know, it's the second fic in the Thursdayverse series that began with 'Thursday Kids Like to Cause'. I'm podficcing the entire series because Del asked me to and I'm posting them up as I finish them. For the last one check my last entry or poke me if you can't find it and really want it.

RAWR!

P.S. In other news, yes I do have conjunctivitis, the Doctor confirmed it (yay eyedrops) and I still need a tag for London, suggestions? Answers on a postcard?

BLAH!

2009-07-27T11:19:38Z

I haven't Con-Reported because I suck, and I haven't picspammed because I didn't exactly know what the hell I was letting myself in for when I said I'd put one together and it's taking longer than I expected, but I did spend yesterday being productive and lazy at the same time.

No, I'm afraid you can't do it too, it's a power only I have, sorry.

I slept a lot. Getting back from London at nearly 3am will do that to me. (Actually, I go back at 3, but I'm pretty sure I didn't go to bed until nearly 5, but tha's just my own damn fault.) Then when I did get up I uploaded some shiny things which may be of interest to people other than apiphile so I'm linking them here:

Thursday Kids Part 1
Thursday Kids Part 2
Thursday Kids Part 3
Thursday Kids Part 4

I commited Podfic on Friday, not realising quite how long it would take me to a)read them and b) tweak and edit them so that I cut out all my little coughing fits and places where I went in the the complete opposite direction from where I was supposed to be going. This is the result. I read it in two parts (the two parts it is split into on swear_jar's journal) but it wouldn't upload like that, so I had to cut it into four parts. Each is about half an hour long. Enjoy. Excuse the occasional stumbling over words, I was reading out loud for two hours straight.

I also changed my bedding, put a load of washing on then hung it out, had a goodly long shower and moved the ironing board back upstairs. I watched four episodes of Dexter and discovered that keeling over in the park on Saturday (for the lulz, do not fear oh people who were not there) I whacked my head on a rock (this was after I started to dig to Japan, but before I found the worm) and I have a small lump of pain on the back of my skull.

This morning however, I woke up to find my phone in its death throes and had to rush to plug it in and that my left eye is all pink and puffy and icky yellow guk is coming out of it (yay! Pus descriptions at 11am!) so I'm off to the Doctor's this afternoon to talk about conjunctivitis and me. And hopefully that will be the end of it. Oh, and Beci mentioned that Alex had said something, but it was irl, and I meant to say something anyway so: Forgotten side-effects of London #287 - Your snot goes completely black.

And to break up the monotony and because I am in that kind of mood here are some pictures of things I like.

The Anatomy of a Unicorn. Something for The MikeyWay I think.

The Path of a Roomba as it goes about its business.

The Fridge Magnets I've been trying to turn into an icon. I put them like this ages ago and went back to my Dad's house to find he hadn't moved them. I had to take a picture. He has no idea what the magnets mean, and yet he has still not changed them to spell anything else. My Dad is nothing if not a creature of habit.

The first apperance in Sam and Fuzzy of Roger the severed head. You should read Sam and Fuzzy. It's fucked up.

And Finally tiny internetfail kitteh wants YOU to go outside and do something interesting.

...I'm going to go now, because my eye really hurts and I'm going to go and stare at it being gross until such time as I have to head out to see the doctor. I may watch a few episodes of Dexter in that time also.

(Also I need a tag for London. Any suggestions?)

Fail.

2009-07-17T16:00:53Z

So I'm coming to London this weekend for the London Film and Comic Con (as per my post ages ago in my journal, and HERE).

BUT because I am a useless twat who doesn't think of things until the last minute, I am without accomodation for the night, so I'm calling you London folks out and asking if you wouldn't mind a Plum crashing on your floor or sofa for Saturday night. I promise to be quiet and tidy and stuff, and I'll get food in town so you won't have to feed me unless you desperately want to. Otherwise, can anyone help with details to a cheap place to stay, a hostel or something?

Thanks in advance,

plum.

P.S. I am using this icon because I don't have an 'I'm a usesless twat' icon, which is something I clearly need.

Fair point...

2009-07-14T06:25:45Z

...I suck, and I need to start reading my flist again, I'm so far behind it's just stupid, hence tomorrow will be the day of flisting! BUT, I've been watching Heroes, yes, I'm late to the party again, but silvernatasha lent me the first series on dvd, then I stole the rest off iron_nerd so I've been mainlining, and I'm now in S3. There are some points I want to flail/whine/bitch about, but I'll put them behind a cut in a minute, and in any case, this comes first, because I've been thinking it for the last two days, and I've finally had to make it...

...Yeah, Sorry. I was going to put the same quote (it's the first Stanza of Philip Larkin's 'This Be the Verse', just in case you wanted to know) with the picture of The Company, but there's still one or two of them I don't know (whether they were supposed to be revealed properly in S2 before the writer's strike killed all the plot creativity or not I have no idea, but I know their names are all on stickynotes when Matt has it at the end of S2.) and I don't want to stare at it too closely. Also, any excuse not to have to stare at Angela Petrelli is a good thing...

Anyway, on to the wank...

Okay, so Season One is confusing but awesome with a slightly anti-climactic ending, and if you read the wikis a thankfully removed-before-airing plot involving Matt and a terrorist hiding in a cupboard who used to live with him. Yeeah...

So S1 has its ups and downs, but is generally awesome, and thankfully long enough to have a few separate plots running side by side and eventually running together. There are characters of awesome and characters of many lots pretty, who I'll tell you about in my next post because I've promised to do a Pretties of Heroes Post so there will be hotness and picspamming. The whole of the first series is obviously an introduction to the characters (there are too many to intro in just the first episode) and then there's a world-needs-saving plot for them to take care of.

I was a bit weirded out by Issac Mendez's accent, mostly because I've only heard Santiago Cabrerra with an English accent for Merlin and the American one is awful. I was amused by how much of it I'd seen completely at random and apparently only just taken in, although I managed to get the Hiro/Ando plot stuck in my head. I also came to the realisation that I like S1 Claire, at least, much, much better than any other Season because she's not so much of a whiny cow. Also politician!Nathan is a twat and I don't like him either (I do like beardy!Nathan, but not Jesus!Nathan, so it's probably an inverse correlation to how pompous he is or it's a reaction to the beard. With which he looks like Steve Carell). I in no way reserve a special place in my heart (and other places) for the bits of the series where Sylar is locked up in the cells at The Company and gets to be barefoot and strung-out looking whilst wearing what are essentially white pjs, something he doesn't repeat until S3 sadly. (Six Months Ago and Fallout are gooood ZQ episodes.)

There's also the brilliant portion of the series taken up with 'Sylar and Mohinder's Wacky Road-Trip!' which makes me laugh. Melting household objects? Seriously? And Super-hearing? Why did you think it would be a good idea? Why? You know you have to get used to the powers, they don't just work like a light switch, how did you think it would be a good thing to be able to hear a pin drop thirty miles away and not know how to control the power so you don't get deafened by Mohinder slamming the car door a yard away? Pillock.

Before I forget to include her, I'd also like to say that I loved Simone, she was cool, and really pretty, and given that we met Tawny Cypress at a con and she did weevil!face for us she really should have been in it for longer, but she was cool nonetheless. Also Audrey Hanson, the FBI agent who works with Matt. I've just got to say that I love her to pieces, possibly because some of the fic I've been reading has her written incredibly well, but also because she is just that damned awesome, and hells yeah for kick-ass, awesome ladies. Also she admits to having a mini-crush on Matt at one point, which is unfeasibly cute and sweet and lovely (and I agree wholeheartedly with her that he's a sweet, funny guy, it's just such a pity he's denser than a neutron star when it comes to things like people crushing on him). There needs to be more Audrey in this thing! Other awesome people who need mentioning are Claude Rains (not his real name, obviously), the Invisible Hobo-Doctor, and Zach, who was brilliant and all kinds of awesome and makes West in S2 look even more like a complete prat just by being the anti-prat.

Season Two started well, bringing the wonders of Peter-without-emo-fringe and Nathan-with-a-beard, and you can see it was heading for another lot of twisty-turny plot devices when the writer's strike fell smack-bang into their laps, and they had to cut everything short and leave quite a few plots completely unresolved. The main one being the whole Caitlin-stuck-in-the-future thing, which bugs me like the gaping plot-hole that it is, but did mean that I didn't have to listen to the shittest fake-Cork accent I have EVER heard. Swings and roundabouts really.

It's a great shame to be honest, because I think S2 had the potential to be fantastic, there were some brilliant things building and okay I also have obviously fallen head over heels for M3 (or the House of M, as Bethan puts it) which in no way has biased me to read ridiculously good fic about Matt and Mohinder learning how to be good parents to Molly and fucking up because they're human and that's what happens, but it's still all so domestic and- ...*cough*... I mean, I'm not sappy and romantic at heart, really. I am also in no way biased by the number of Sylar appearances going up and thus there being more ZQ for me to ogle, nuh uh, no way. *big glasses and a grandad cardigan* *GUH!* Thing? What thing? *innocent*

I can't really say much more about S2, there isn't that much of it to start with and I prettymuch just want to witter on for ages about M3 and why they're fantastic, Gabriel and why he's pretty, and Alejandro and Maya and how annoying they are. I should probably say something about Adam but other than 'he's a twat and an evil bugger, but I like him anyway', I can't think of anything to say.

I suppose I should also talk about Elle and Bob, Bob ("just call me Bob") who has the shittest power ever, and uses the phrase 'for the greater good' more often than I like, and Elle, who I actually do like quite a lot because she's wicked and sexy and she toys with Peter and she's all screwed-up with Daddy-issues and her power is actually quite brilliant and there are a dozen other reasons, but those are the good ones. There's also Monica, Micah's cousin in New Orleans, who is fucking kick-ass, as well as being lovely. The problem is that there's not enough time for anyone to really develop as characters, everyone gets a half-journey of self discovery instead. Apart from poor Ando, who doesn't get to go adventuring again, but has to get stuck working instead while Hiro galavants off into the past to play at being soldiers and bringing him back souvenirs.

Season Three has started with creepy Petrellicest (why is it more creepy when it's Peter/Claire than when it's Peter/Nathan? It should be the other way around surely, seeing as they're brothers?) and has answered few of the questions left hanging in S2, but has introduced a whole lot more questions, the very least of which is 'Is EVERYONE a sodding Petrelli??? FFS Angela!' and 'Why are you even pretending that you're not ripping off X-Men? Come on, get real.'

On the other hand Future Gabriel is so much 'unf!' I would hit that like a frigging steam train, and I just go into paroxsyms of glee whenever ickle-Noah is on screen. In the absence of someone claiming to be his mother, niblick_iii decided ickle-Noah is actually a de-aged Noah Bennet and Gabriel adopted him, which is now completely and totally canon in every way. It's so unbearably cute you'll need insulin I swear. The other thing about S3 is the introduction of new characters and the fact that no matter which Petrelli you are, death never seems to take properly.

I waver on the Mohinder/Maya thing because on the one hand you have a man who until a few weeks previously was living with another man and raising a daughter with him and who hitherto had taken absolutely zero interest in the pretty girls around him in favour of concentrating on his job, and on the other hand it gets me shirtless Sendhil Ramamurthy, which I wholeheartedly agree with, and am convinced should be an essential part of any balanced diet. Half-naked Sendhil at least once a day. That'd do me the power of good I can assure you.

Tracy is just to fuck with everyone's heads, I can see that already and it's working, I already love Daphne to bits, speedsters are always the nicest superheroes in the comics anyway, and she's just lovely and a bit insane, kinda like Elle Bishop only more indie-punk. (I have this idea that Daphne, Elle, Monica and Audrey run off together and fight crime and be awesome. Then they go and rescue Caitlin from the future (who by this time has sorted out her dreaful accent into one that doesn't make people's ears bleed) and Yaeko from the past (who is by now a deadly Samauri warrior) and then they just shoot all over the world through time kicking butt and occasionally getting into lolarious adventures!)

I've only just met Matt's Turtle. I can already tell he's going to be a superstar.

Anyway, I've probably babbled enough, so I'm gonna go read my flist and gather together the pretty pictures for the picspam later.

Yatta! (I had to do it once! Sorry.)

P.S. I am sorry about comma abuse, overuse of ellipses and the word 'awesome' being used to describe everyone. It's been a long day.

Woo!

2009-07-04T11:20:34Z

So London is awesome, apiphile is fucking amazing as always, and I spent most of yesterday in some kind of daze.

A proper report of The Adventures of plum and nevaendinstorey in the Big City would not convey to you how awesome it is to sit in Candy Cakes for two hours with Del and talk about everything with porn on top and then be whisked off to a gorgeous erotica shop (I believe the difference between erotica and porn is merely the price of the tools used, but I could be wrong) where we looked at lots of awesome stuff and giggled over Tom of Finland stories, and then on to Forbidden Planet where everyone squeed over action figures and I was told that 'midget wresters were poisoned by fake prostitutes' which is something I certainly consider news. And then we had to run for the tube and tell stupid kid-jokes so we could meet bloodrunner666 who put us up for the night ...

So yesterday was awesome and today should contain Camden and probably Pride, and possibly meeting people from Pendracon afterwards in a pub (Cat has the numbers, I have no clue) all topped off with good noms when we get back in the evening to my brilliant Granny's house because she's putting us up for the rest of the time after we found ot how expensive it was to go between London and Stevenage every day...

Tomorrow is my actual birthday day, and I will probably have no internet, but I'll be texting twitter from my phone about the Comedy Store Player who we are going to see and who should be awesome, and then Monday there is also Comedy with Del who suggested it, and in the day we're going to see the museum with the dead bodies so that'll be cool, and by the end of this trip I'll be thinking in run-on sentences proper, and I'll be so tired I'll sleep for a week.

...And it'll be worth it!

Tata, I'll talk to/see you when I get back!

Yeeesssss another meme!

2009-06-16T13:20:33Z

But I promise more constrcutive things later.

Don't take too long to think about it. List 15 books you've read that will always stick with you -- The first 15 you can recall in 15 minutes.

Stoled from apiphile again.

1. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (A Trilogy in Four Parts (no I don't count Mostly Harmless, why would you ask that)) - Douglas Adams. (I always say this, but I've been saying it for ten years and it's still hanging around, so it must have stuck.)
2. Moab is my Washpot - Stephen Fry. (Esp the rules of what you're not allowed to be sorry for.)
3. Ender's Game - Orson Scott Card.
4. Good Omens - Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.
5. The K-PAX Trilogy - Gene Brewer
6. Retribution - Mike Jupp. (Who is a mate of my dad's and sent me the first copy for free. I had to buy the second copy after the first one fell to bits.)
7. The Sandman - Neil Gaiman. (I don't care that it's a graphic novel not a 'real' book, it sticks with me.)
8. The Hobbit - J.R.R.Tolkien.
9. Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne.
10. The Chronicles of Narnia - C.S. Lewis.
11. I was a Teenage Dominatrix (A Memoir) - Shawna Kenney.
12. Join Me - Danny Wallace.
13. The Brentford Trilogy - Robert Rankin.
14. The Sleep Book - Dr Seuss.
15. The Plucker - Brom.

Also, quoted verbatim from the_hatstand who many of you do not have on your flists, much hilarity ensues:

Oh good grief... Phil Jupitus just read out this cutting on The News Quiz.

- taken from The Bristol Evening Post, Thu Jun 5th 2009

"Outside Bristol Zoo is the car park, with spaces for 150 cars and 8 coaches. It has been manned 6 days a week for 23 years by the same charming and very polite car park attendant with the ticket machine. The charges are £1.00 per car and £5.00 per coach.

On Monday 1 June, he did not turn up for work. Bristol Zoo management phoned Bristol City Council to ask them to send a replacement parking attendant. The Council said "That car park is your responsibility." The Zoo said "The attendant was employed by the City Council... wasn't he?" The Council said "What attendant?"

Gone missing from his home is a man who has been taking daily the car park fees amounting to about £400.00 per day for the last 23 years!"

My advice to the bloke is to keep running. I would have done the same myself.

P.S. I almost forgot:

Bill Bailey was AWESOME! And I got Front Row Tickets! *squeeflail*
I had a blast and there were bits I knew and bits I didn't, and a new song about Johnny Rotten advertising butter and a new instrument called a Tenori-On which was really cool, and he got under the carpet and YAY! More details may follow, but given my seive-like memory in the presence of greatness I doubt it. Still, let it be known that I had a great time and that it was well worth three hours on a train for!

HELP HELP HELP HELP!!!!

2009-06-11T13:08:03Z

Panicking quite a lot about this one, because I have to catch a train tomorrow to my Dad's house and I literally do not have the money to get there without my student discount on the train. Can anyone think of anywhere obvious I should look for it that I haven't already checked?

Places I have searched...

My usual backpack
Two other bags that I use less often
My smart coat pockets
My hoodie pockets
By my bed
The table in the living room
The top of my chest-of-drawers

Please help! I'm staying at nevaendinstorey's tonight because getting to the train station from her house is easier than getting to it from mine, so I can only search for about another four hours.

Thank you!
plum x.

ETA: FOUND IT! I had to crawl around on the floor under my desk to find it, but I found it! And now I bring you a meme because I am pleased. Next post. Hah!

a meme, some pretty pictures and an inadvertant poem.

2009-06-06T06:05:37Z

Stolen from innerbrat and rowanberries

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Pick an image.
c. Copy each image URL into Mosaic Maker. Change rows to 3 and columns to 3.
d. Save the image and post it on this note.

The Questions:
1. What is your first name? plum (Okay, it's not, but for the purposes of this meme...)
2. What is your favorite color? bluegreen
3. What is your favorite food? ice cream
4. Favorite drink? tea
5. Dream vacation? The Discworld (specifically Ankh-Morpork)
6. Favorite hobby? reading
7. What you want to be when you grow up? a teacher
8. What do you love most in life? my insanity
9. Best self-description? ~~bright-eyed lunatic~~ (not on flickr) interestingly manic

The Mosaic thing didn't work for me, so I have pics for you anyway under the cut. Pretty ones. Yay!

my name is plum

i like blue-green

my favourite food is ice cream.

my favourite drink of all is tea

i want to flee reality.

i love to read all sorts of books

and when i grow up i want to teach

my madness gets me funny looks

and often puts me out of reach.

Also there is a poem with the pictures. I don't mind posting it because it is simple and kidlike.

Awstfgl - Random

2009-06-03T12:05:15Z

Okay so one of the things I've been told is sucky about my journal (see the last post, go reply to it now, then come back, in fact, HERE's a link to it so you can) is that I don't post often enough. So I have some rambling at random, and then another meme FOR YOU

ETA: A link from bethan_b_bad
NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim June 2009 as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month. I call upon the people of the United States to turn back discrimination and prejudice everywhere it exists.
YES!! GO AMERICA YOU CRAZY CRAZY COUNTRY!!! xXXxxxXXXXxxXXXxXXxxxXxXXXXxXXx

So not this weekend, because this weekend MY EMILY COMES HOME *gleeeeeeeeee* but the weekend after, I'm going to see my Daddy and steal some more of my stuff from his house to bring back home (Including the teenybike. If I can persude Bethan, there will be pictures!) to Cardiff, and because he called me up last night and asked if I wanted a free ticket to see Bill Bailey! So I clearly said yes, and he's going to pay my train fare up to see him as well. He is a great Dad to live far away from. Having lived with him for two years I'd kill him if I had to do it again, but he's okay so long as I don't have to stay in the 'paranoid pessimism' centre of the universe, which is his house, for too long.

I will also bring back anything from my Dad's house that I can as presents for you. ...Now you're interested and not at all still foaming in jealousy because of the Bill Bailey ticket... 'Ask and ye shall recieve' is the phrase of the day, if you want to know something about me from my stuff ask away, I am prepared to do weird shit like ship a small parcel consisting of a book, three McDonald's Happy Meal toys and a Sylvanian Family rabbit to you, provided you ask the right questions. I don't know what they are either, but I just want to give people my stuff right now. Addresses and things can get worked out later.

minervasolo is FUCKING AWESOME and you should all read THIS because I had a terrible idea and she wrote it for me for the lulz, and it is fantastic even though it's only short and Ford Prefect + Bob Bryar = FUCK YEAH!

And now the show you've all been waiting for...
Stolen once again from apiphile:

MEME TIME

That's right, it's time for ORGY OF EGO-BOOSTING!

Here's your side of the deal, you comment and tell me:

1x AWESOME thing about me.
2x AWESOME things about you. (That's right. TWO)
3x AWESOME things about a friend of yours, on or offline. I don't have to know who they are, just tell me.

If you see someone in the comments you know/like/feel needs to be loved at (even if you don't know them), comment and tell them something awesome about themself. Even if it's just "HOLY COW YOUR ICON MAKES MY CROTCH FRIENDLY".

Here's my side of the deal! I will reply with two AWESOME things about you. If I don't know you very well, I will make something up, post a picture of a baby animal, ~~or write you a poem. If you don't like my poetry, tough shit, it's my journal and I will commit verse if I want to.~~ (I won't be writing poetry, I do not show any poetry I write to the outside world without sneaking it so far under the radar it's already been forgotten before anyone even realises I commited poetry.)

COME ON, COME IN AND BE LOVED ON, FUCKERS

For examples on how awesome and lovely such a meme can be, I refer you to its perpetrator apiphile and what happened in the meme on her journal HERE.

And in case you cared I'm going to see STAR TREK again today. Wo0t! Fourth time Biatches and I'm still not tired of it! Boooooooooooones and Chekov and Scotty FTW! I really do need to get my icons sorted. (But I do have the best tag for Star Trek EVER!)

NOT a meme for once...

2009-05-31T01:07:54Z

So I've eaten. Which is good. And I'm watching 'I've Never Seen Star Wars' with Hugh Dennis on iplayer, which is really cool and he's eating roadkill with this old bloke who's really funny. I haven't exactly been sleeping properly I'm coming up to three days on five hours of sleep. I also have one arm from fingers to elbow covered in writing, quotes, names and random words. I really, really want to cut my hair off again too. it's bugging me like crazy. Also I'm wearing facepaint for no good reason. I felt like it. *shrug* (The roadkill bloke is called Arthur Boyt if you wanted to know.)

I've been bogged down in Star Trek fandom lately. I can't squee, I'm too tired, but I have a link for a stupidly cute kidfic (Here), which has obviously lead to me wanting kidfic from as many of my fandoms as possible, so if you know any good kidfic, please link it. If you feel like writing me some that'd be awesome too, but I'll settle for links.

Star Trek fandom is really nice at the moment, I love the massive influx of people coming out of the Trekkie closet like people coming out of the big blue closet and admitting to being Doctor Who fans when the new series started, also a lot of the fic is really quite good. I'll admit, I've been int TOS a lot more these days than I every used to be, but still with the Picard represent! It doesn't hurt also that most of the cast of the new film are pretty (I've never once thought Zac Quinto was pretty until I saw pics of him in his GIANT GEEK glasses and all of a sudden 'Helloo there!') and even though I feel a bit weird with regards to Chekov cause he's pretty, but looks like jailbait, but isn't actually jailbait, and Anton Yelchin is definitely not Jailbait in any way seeing as he's such a GQ Motherfucker (A PICSPAM to prove my point) but I'm still so CONFUSED!!!

...Scream is on the telly, and srsly, how is everyone so incompetent in this movie?!?! I've not seen it before (I really didn't want to at the time it came out and I prefer not to pay for films if I don't have to) and I've just realised this has turned more into a stream of conciousness thing rather than an actual post so I'm gonna signoff and leave lj as is.

If I'm supposed to have posted you something up, a link or whatever, and forgotten to do so comment and let me know.

plum x.

P.S. Pinto is the best namesmoosh pairing ever. Especially for those of us who watch QI (I suspect all of you!) And now I'm watching Jonathan Ross - Joanna Lumley still has the sexiest voice in the entire world. Just thought you ought to know.

A Meme in lieu of actual work, yay!

2009-05-20T16:22:27Z

Your fics are coming along surely but slowly, and will either be posted in the comments below where you asked for them, or if they end up too long, I'll post them at my fic-journal and leave you a link to them!

Slow but sure, has become even slower with two fingers out of commission. If you follow my on Twitter you'll already know, but yeah. Washing Up is hazardous to my health. The last two times I've done the WU I've cut myself on something. Last time I sliced my finger open with a concealed knife below one of the plates, which is why this time I very carefully didn't put the sharp knifes in, planning to leave them 'til last, and do them separately. This time it was a glass, which cut me inbetween my ring and little fingers on my right hand, leaving me with eight typing fingers and imposing a state of unwilling left-handedness upon me.

However, I have vowed to write a hell of a lot more often, to get into the practise of writing, even if what I write is complete bollocks, so here is a meme to be going on with, and I'll be back to writing your requested fics as soon as I get the stupidly large bandage I mocked-up off my fingers. (It needed to be kept clean and dry etc., but plasters don't work between your fingers unless they're those special ones for exactly that, so I used a bandage and some cotton wool which I have in case my sister comes to visit and injures herself because she's allergic to plasters. Anyway, the bandage I had to use is too long, so my fingers are wrapped up in a large cotton sausage shape. Which doesn't help with the typing...)

Meme!
What I stole from gingerhobbit

1) The worst reading experience that you have ever had?
Wuthering Heights, no question. I have tried to like this book, I've even tried to just get on with it and read the damn thing, but nothing about it interests me. I hate the characters, I think they're all stupid and dull and they need to be pushed off a cliff into a stormy ocean of pain. Something which is unlikely to happen on a heath... Unfortunately. The hatred probably stems from the English teacher who we had to read it for declaring that my essay was rubbish because I didn't like the book, whereas she thought it was the best book in the entire history of books, and therefore I was WRONG even though the essay called for our opinions about it.

2) The best reading experience you have ever had?
Terry Pratchett's Discworld books. I want to live in Ankh-Morpork. I can't tell you how many times I've read those books, I just don't know, but it's a lot...

3) Which book has affected or influenced you the most so far?
I wish I'd read Ender's Game when I was younger. I think it would have affected me more, but it's still a book that changed my perspective in a slight, but quite critical way. Oddly enough, other books that I remember resurfacing from with a feeling of 'Wow. I feel strangely different in a way I can't quite put my finger on.' are K-PAX and Fuzzy Dice, also fairly science fiction-y books.

4) Have you ever read a book that you got really scared of?
No, I don't remember ever being afraid of a book. I remember being afraid after a book, that the 'things' from it would come a get me, but never whilst reading. The best one I can think of that made me have to sit up with the light on is The Plucker by Brom. Gorgeous art, but so terrifying it burned the monsters into my brain until long into the night.

5) What do you use as a bookmark?
Anything I have to hand. I prefer not to have an actual official bookmark, so usually something close by that's flat, although bits of string, bus tickets, flyers, bits of newspaper, empty gum wrappers and hairbands have all been used at one point or another. If it's a paperback I might lie it flat on a surface, but hardbacks just get something dropped between the pages. When I was at school I never needed a bookmark, I always just remembered where I was, but then again, when I was at school I always had a book in my pocket to read, one in my bag in case I finished the pocket on, and I would sneakily read in class if it got too dull.

6) When do you usually read? At home, work, while cooking, in the morning, noon, afternoon, before you go to bed...?
Home, on the bus, in the car, while walking, in bed... Anytime I can, and if the book is especially gripping, even times when I can't or shouldn't like when I'm walking down the street and really should be looking out for lampposts or cars instead.

7) Do you remember the first book that you read?
No, but it was probably Peter Rabbit. Or Winnie the Pooh. Or Paddington. Or Alpaca the Rabbit (who recently changed his name to 'Fluffy Bunny' because apparently people were confused by 'Alpaca the Rabbit' not being a llama...). Or Alfie and Annie-Rose books. I had a book-filled childhood!

8) Which do you prefer - paperback or hardcover?
Paperbacks I feel much safer with. I can pack them into my backpack a few at a time and they aren't as heavy, and I can fit them in my hoodie pocket. But hardbacks are essential if they're old books. Old books should impart a sense of history. They should smell of years of reading and learning and artfully-told lies.

9) What are you currently reading? What page are you on?
The Last Continent (Pratchett) - Pg151
The King of Terror (Doctor Who Novel) - Pg140
HHGTTG Trilogy in Four Parts single book - Pg356 (aka Life, the Universe and Everything - Pg47)
The Last Detective (A bookcrossing book I found last night) - Pg19
And probably a couple of others that a currently evading me.

10) Do you ever leave "a mark" (deliberate and/or not deliberate) in your books? For example, write in them, underline quotes, coffeemarks or food crumbs and etc.
I generally don't underline things unless I need them for work. There are exceptions however. What I do (or did) sometimes do is keep tallies of the 'other works by the same author' I had read and draw pictures in the front covers of books. If there's a particularly interesting quote I might fold over the corner, but I don't do that often. As for 'accidental' markings, my books often have biscuit crumbs or watermarks from spilled tea, are occasionally entirely watermarked after a 'dropping into the bath/sink/puddle' incident and if I've been reading them outside during the summer beware of greenfly, grass, and the occasional pressed flower between the pages.

11) Does the title, amount of pages and the cover affect you when you are considering a specific book?
Yes. I often trawl bookshops for books I've never heard of. If I'm looking for a new book I generally go through a shelf looking for a title to pop out at me. This is often how I find new authors. The amount of pages never really comes into it, unless I'm weighing up against the price... If I can only afford to get one book, and I've picked up two that look interesting and are the same price I'll usually choose the thicker one on principle of 'getting more for my money' but I try and make note of the other one in case I want it later. This is only if I have two by unknown authors. If I know I'll like the thinner book because I know I like the author, then the thinner one it will be.
The last thing is the cover. I'm sure many of you know this about me, but I wanted to read Pratchett books because of Josh Kirby's gorgeous cover to Soul Music. I saw it and instantly fell in love with the idea of them. It's just so brilliantly ROCK 'N' ROLL! ♥ *sigh*

12) Do you ever browse through to the last pages in order find out the ending?
No. Why would I want to know how the story ends before I know how it begins?

13) Has knowing the ending of a book (example, through spoilers or a movie) ever made you decide whether you will read the book or not?
If there's a film coming that I want to see, and I know I'll want to read the book I generally read the book before the movie on purpose to avoid being spoilered. I really don't like being spoilered. There have been occasions when I haven't read the book first, but they're few and far between.

14) Is there a book that you have read more than five times?
Every Pratchett book, The Hitchhiker's Guide, The Hobbit, The Narnia Chronicles, probably every Beatrix Potter book, Good Omens (it's falling apart from over-use), The Brentford trilogy, The Wombles, Bottersnikes and Gumbles... I re-read most of my books a looooooooot.

15) Have you ever been in an accident where the book was the cause? (for example, almost getting hit by a car when reading while walking, or having stacks of books falling on you from a bookshelf...)
Yes and yes to the examples. High bookshelves and short stepladders are just a pain in the skull. Feh! Also walking into lamp posts, tripping over things, falling up and down stairs, falling off walls, out of trees and out of bed, hitting my head on cupboard doors, low hanging signs and ceiling beams, getting stuck in a bannister rail, a wardrobe and under half a ton of wet laundry are all things that I've done whilst reading. There are probably more.

16) Do you sell/give away your books or do you keep them, even though you don't like one of them?
I keep as many of my books as I can, although I give away duplicates and books I've already read and know I don't like. I tend to keep books I haven't read even if I suspect that I won't like them, because I have to read them to find out if my suspicions were right. If I disliked a particular book, I will give it to a charity shop or someone else after reading.

17) Do you have some kind of book system, where you write down what you are reading, have bought, will read, will buy and etc?
No. I fail. I really should make note of all the books I own, note which ones I've read and which are still to read and have a list that I can add to of books I want to read at some point. But I don't, and for now I just have to rely on my godawful memory, and my notepads where I scribble notes my myself about books I've heard of that I think are worth reading.

And that's quite enough of that.

Enjoy your day. Me? I'm going to see Star Trek again later! WIN!

So I know you're (almost) all suffering from Exams - That paralysing and debilitating disease.

2009-05-17T17:32:28Z

So I thought I'd be a nice plum and write you something to cheer you up.

Please prompt me in the comments with the following -

Fandom, Pairing (optional), Genre (optional) and Prompt.

All prompts, if you please, to be delivered in the style of 'a is for-', 'b is for-'...etc. Get the idea? I want a whole alphabet eventually, so please keep plugging away.

Eg. SGA, McShep, fluff/humour, 'b is for buffalo'.
or Quantum Leap, Sam/Al, kid!fic, 'b is for balloon'.
or HP/Doctor Who, 'f is for floo powder'.
or Hitchhiker's Guide, kid's adventure story, 's is for smugglers'... You catch my drift I hope?

ETA: Meant to say before, but... This post is NOT f-locked for a reason. If you know soeone who is suffering from exams, or is having a shitty time and needs a fic to cheer them up, poke them in my direction and I'll do what I can for them! Also, if you aren't suffering from exams, but you want a fic anyway, go ahead and ask. The 'exams' thing is merely a thin excuse, made to get me to get off my lazy arse and do some writing.

If you're not sure I know the fandom of which you speak, give me a choice of a few, alternatively check my profile for a fairly comprehensive list of fandoms I at least know, even if I don't usually participate in the ficcing.

Ready? Steady? GO!

Prompt away!

plum x.

P.S. I'm planning an icon shift-about in the next few days, so If there's any of my icons you particularly like and think I shuld keep, or indeed, any icons that you particularly hate and think I should ditch, let me know. I've no idea if that'll make any difference to my descision of which I'm keeping and which I'm not, but I'd still like your opinions.

Poetry Wot i Promised.

2009-04-24T00:58:18Z

Why am I always late with these?

...That was rhetorical by the way. My hangover tomorrow morning will not be. Urgh. I am not looking forward to that.

In conciliation for the lateness of this, have a Colin Morgan hug. :) He is pretty.

Day 23. Act Two - Part 3

The Wild Party by Joseph Moncure March

3
The candles sputtered: their flames were gay;
And the shadows leapt back out of the way.
The party began to get going.
The laughter rang shriller:
The talk boomed louder:
the women's faces showed flushed through powder;
And the men's faces were glowing.
The room was hung with streamers of smoke.
It billowed; curled;
Swung; swirled:
Poured towards the candle flames
And broke.
Eyes flashed,
Glistened:
Everyone talked:
Few listened.
Crash!
A glass smashed;
And a woman swore,
Shrank back
Abashed.

On the bed sat a girl,
Alone.
White: aloof:
Like stone.
Her mouth was a crimson velvet petal,
Her hair was beaten from gun-metal.
Her eyes were deeply set
In shadows of violet.
And she sat with never a motion,
Like a nun wrapped in devotion.

Hungrily Madelaine True eyed her:
Slowly she crossed:
Sank down beside her:
Softly she let a hand sink
On this girl's hand.
The girl did not shrink:
She did not speak:
She did not stir.
She sat staring at a shadow blur
That hung like a web on the opposite wall.
Gently Madelaine's fingers slid
Upwards along her slender, small
Ivory arm.
The lace that hid
The girl's bosom, rose and quivered:
Her petal lips parted:
She shivered.
Slowly she drew her arm away:
She rose, and went towards the glass-filled tray.

Kate hailed Burrs like a long-lost brother,
And she left Black's side
To be a red-hot Mother.
Queenie saw her going:
She stopped the Vic,
And put on a record so blue it was sick.
She moved forward swiftly:
She stood before Black:
"Will you dance with me-
Until Kate comes back?"
And ever so shyly smile.
He blushed like a ten-year-old child,
And nodded, completely beguiled.

So dance they did,
And dance they could:
Queenie was a marvel,
And the boy was good.

Their step was dreamy,
and slow,
And sweeping:
And their rhythm was enough
to set you weeping.
They stood up straight,
and slim and tall-
None of your sexy stuff at all:
Queenie was clever:
You should have seen them:
She danced as though there
were a sword between them.

But the music swerved.
It sank into deep
Soft murmers, as though falling asleep.
Like a dream, the melody began to float
From a saxophone's low-pitched, husky throat:
And the rhythm whispered with the fierce unrest
Of a heart throbbing in a passionate breat.

Then Queenie stirred;
Ans the stir went through him;
And he shifted his arm,
And crushed her to him.
The shock of her softness
stoppedhis breath.

Lights blurred:
The floor swam underneath.
And Queenie did more than her share:
She brushed his lips with her hair:
She arched inward:
She clung:
she pressed
Her body on his
from knee to breat.

It was wonderfully timed.
About two steps more,
They'd have lost their balance
And fallen on the floor.
As it was the music quavered:
Stopped.
They disengaged slowly:
Their arms dropped.
And she fed him a blurred
bewildered glance.
She smiled: she whispered:
"Our first dance!"

"Let's get our drinks, and sit somewhere."
"Why, yes: if you think Kate wouldn't care-
I don't want the child to pull my hair!"

Queenie took cushions from the double bed.
"Do you mind if we sit on the floor?" she said.
So they found a corner
Half-hidden by a chair,
And they dropped the cushions,
And they sat down there.

thought Black:
"This is obvious bait:
She want to be kissed.
Why wait?"

His arm went around her:
he whispered her name.
But Queenie was playing a different game.
She registered child-like dismay:
"No!- Please!" she gasped:
"Go away!"
She pushed him off: averted her head.
"I thought you'd be different,"
She said.

His arm dropped like a shot.
He choked
And his ears turned hot.
And he'd thought this woman a prostitute!
What a cad he was!
What a rotten brute!
He stammered:
"I'm awfully sorry!" he said:
"Just awfully-
Really!
I- lost my head.
Please forgive me?"

She lifted wet eyes.
She gave out the faintest of sighs.
then bravely she winked the tears away:
Bravely she nodded:
She tried to be gay.
She smiled, wistful;
She pursed her lips,
And blew him a kiss from her finger tips.

His soul was torn.
It bled.
He wished to God he were dead!
Gloomily he inspected his feet.
"You're the sort I've always wanted to meet,"
He said:
"And now it's spoiled.
You probably think I'm just hard-boiled:
A rotter:
A rounder:
A horrible sort of bounder!"

Queenie viewed him with large eyes,
Incredulous:
My God- what a prize!

"Well," he said: "I guess I'm through.
I'll go now, if you want me to."

Queenie shook her head.
She said:
"No-
Don't go.
You're really very nice, you know.
Please be my friend-
I need one so!"

His eyes lit with the pleasure
Of a man discovering treasure.
"There's nothing I'd rather be!"
He told her
Fervently.
Up rose his drink:
Up rose her drink.
The glasses met with a faint clink.
Glass met lip.
Each took a sip
To Friendship.

Meanwhile, on the double bed,
Eyes closed in bliss,
Burrs and Kate lay locked
In a five-minute kiss.
Of course -
It meant nothing to either one:
They were simply snatching a bit of fun.
They stirred:
They unlocked:
They came up for air.
Their eyes blurred:
The room rocked:
They peered here and there.
Suddenly Kate had a moving thought:
"Where's that cock-eyed bastard I brought?"

Her eyes found the corner,
And there they stopped.
Her head shot forward,
And her jaw dropped.
"Well!
May Jesus give me grace!
He's mushin' it up with your angel-face!"

"Yeah?" said Burrs.
he turned to look
His eyes narrowed, and his hands shook.
"Yeah?" he said: "So they tell us!"

Kate winked slyly:
"You're jealous!"
"Jealous?"
he gave her a glittering stare:
"You're crazy!
What the hell do I care!"

A Meme-y Meme

2009-04-23T13:51:34Z

I stole from moofoot. One meme -

1. Open your music library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press "play."
4. For the first question, type the song that’s playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button TWICE.
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool... just type it in, man!

...Possibly I should have skipped out my audiobooks, but that said, I think 'The Holy Terror' is probably oddly appropriate for the first day of work/school.

Also, I'm assuming that this is the soundtrack to the movie of your life.

OPENING CREDITS: I Can't Explain - The Who

WAKING UP: I Never Told You What I Do for a Living - My Chemical Romance

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL/WORK: The Holy Terror - Big Finish Productions

FALLING IN LOVE: The Red Planet - BBC(?)

FIRST TIME: Kathy's Song - Simon and Garfunkel

FIGHT SONG: Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance

BREAKING UP: Singing the Blues - The Steelmen

PROM: This Ain't Your Country Anymore - Mitch Benn

LIFE: We're Not the Champions - Mitch Benn

MENTAL BREAKDOWN: Brand New Day - Neil Patrick Harris

DRIVING: She's The Blade - Sugarcult

FLASHBACK: The Five Million Year Old Tape Recording - Douglas Adams/Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Radio Play/BBC

GETTING BACK TOGETHER: Let's Do It - Victoria Wood

WEDDING: I Believe in Father Christmas - Greg Lake

BIRTH OF A CHILD: Short Fat Fannie - Larry Williams (*snerk*)

FINAL BATTLE: Collide [Acoustic] - Howie Day

DEATH SCENE: Chuckles - Andy Hamilton/Old Harry's Game/BBC

FUNERAL SONG: Sulk - Radiohead

END CREDITS: Bat-And-Forth - Derek Des Anges

I know you're sick of posts from me today, but I bring poetry.

2009-04-22T23:43:25Z

And luckily it isn't mine again, because that one went down like a sack of hammers.

Act Two - Part Two (Also known as Day 22, honest!)

The Wild Party by Joseph Moncure March

2
The only one not on hand was Kate,
She was Queenie's re-headed running-mate.
She was rakish, and tall:
Slim-legged; slim-hipped:
Naughty of eye, and expressive-lipped.
Always in vogue:
Vicious,
Capricious:
A rogue-
But her manner was gay, and delicious.
She could make a Baptist preacher choke
With laughter over a dirty joke.
A touch of flesh would drive you fey.
She could pull you in
To a state of sin
So fast it would take your breath away;
And you'd love it, and beg her to let you stay.
She had wrecked more homes
With lust's delight
Than most women could have
With dynamite.

She was cute,
Lecherous:
Lovable,
Treacherous:
And about as healthy as a cobra's bite.

"Where the hell is that dirty bum?"
Said Queenie: "She swore to God she'd come!"
At which point-
Bang! on the door.

"Come in!"
For answer, came only a high-pitched,
Thin
Laugh
Cut in half
By a scuffle outside.
Silence

"Come in!"

The door sprang wide;
And there stood Kate,
with a man by her side:
Both posing heroic;
mock-dignified.

"Ta-da!" sang Kate, clarion-toned:
"Well, Ladies
And what came with you," she droned-
"Meet what brought me in a sea-going hack:
The Boy Friend- Mister- Mister-
Black!
That's Queenie.
that's Burrs
Tha's Jackie- Am I right?
My god! There's Mae!
'Lo Mae!- I'm tight!"

Queenie came forward.
As she came, she ran her
Eye over Black in a professional manner.
He was tall; dark; heavy of shoulder:
A possible twenty-five,
No older.
Quietly, even soberly dressed;
But perfectly groomed- a habit, one guessed.
He was carelessly straight.
His eyes were bright.
His face was tanned, and his smile was white.
His features were sharply cut
And clean:
He looked sporting: he looked keen.

He made you think of squash-rackets;
Polo; and yachting;
And dinner-jackets
He had that air of poise without pose
That only a well-bred person shows.

She paused for a second.
She looked askance
At Burrs:
A swift, narrow-eyed glance.
She smiled a smile
As sharp as a file
For the fraction of a while.
Again that odd
Slight double nod.
The spurs
For Burrs!
Just what she'd wanted!
He'd try to rough her,
The bastard?
Well now she'd make him suffer!
She had planned this party to put him on the rack;
And she'd do it b making a play for Black!

Her grey eyes widened:
They grew dim.
Doubtfully, shyly, she smiled at him.

"How do you do, Mr. Black," said she:
"We're rather informal here,
As you see.
It was sweet of you to come, I think.
Burrsie- mix Mr. Black a drink."

Black said something polite: astonished.
Then:
"Please don't think me rude
If I stare-
But- your hair-!"

"Listen to me, kid!" Kate admonished:
"Keep away from that blond-headed vamp:
She was wise to herself
When your ears were damp!"

"I haven't a bit of doubt," said Black.
He grinned at Queenie,
And she smiled back-
But with eyes dark: engrossed:
As though she saw a ghost.
Her lashes drooped; made a violet stain
Under each eye, like shadows of pain.
She held it a second,
Then seemed to recover.

It was deftly done-
And it got over.

Black said nothing, but his clear eyes took
On a gentle, understanding look.
Poor Child! relentless life had used
Her Brutally, and left her Bruised!
And beautiful-
God!
She might have been
Some legendary faery queen!

She moved off;
Left him staring after.
Kate burst out in sarcastic laughter.

"Well!
My God!
After all!
Queenie takes the brass-lined shawl!
My God, though: hasn't she got the gall,
Making a play for you in that way!"
"What do you mean?" said Black:
"What play?"
"Say, kid- I wasn't born yesterday!
I like you, kid;
And I know I'm tight,
But I know what I'm talking about, all right!
An' let me tell you- she'll get hers
If she doesn't watch her step with Burrs!
See?
Let her be!
I've told you- now take it from me!"

Black said nothing, but he thought hard.
So she lived with Burrs!
He was somewhat jarred.
He looked Burrs over, and he liked his looks
About as well as a fish likes hooks.
So this was the man of her choosing?
Amusing!
His smile grew knowing:
His drink grew small:
Just a good-looking harlot, after all!

I fail at discussion today. Except to say that I am feeling like crap. Humanity 1. Me 0.

I wish I knew how not to feel dead...

2009-04-22T22:51:59Z

...So here is some poetry to help you to bed.

Act Two - Part One (Also known as Day 21, honest!)

The Wild Party by Joseph Moncure March

1
The gang was there when midnight came.
The studio was it by candle-flame;
Dim: mysterious: shrouded.
Unbidden shadow-guests swarmed
About the room. They huddled crowded
In every corner; raised deformed
Ungainly shoulders, hideous, tall
Necks and heads against the wall.
Enormous blurred hands kept stealing
Spider-like, across the ceiling;
Crossing with sharp, prismatic masses
Of light from swaying spectre glasses.
the flames flickered:
The shadows leapt:
They rushed forward boldly;
Swept
Triumphant
Across white faces:
Wavered, retreated;
Turned, defeated,
And shrank back to darker places.

The party was getting under way
Stiffly, slowly.
The way they drank was unholy.
They hovered around the glass-filled tray
Ravenously,
Like birds of prey.
White, intense;
With mask-like faces
Frozen in rigid, gay grimaces.
They chattered and laughed
Stony-eyed:
Impatient:
Hasty:
Preoccupied.

They drank swiftly, as though they might
Drop dead before they were properly tight.

Christ,
What a crew!
Take a look at Madelaine True;
Her eyes slanted. Her eyes were green;
Heavy-lidded; pouched; obscene.
Eyes like a snake's:
Like a stagnant pool
Filled with slime.

Her mouth was cruel:
A scar
In red,
That had recently opened and bled.

Her body was marvellous:
A miracle had fused it:
The whole world had seen it-
And a good part had used it.
People bought their seats in advance
For fifteen dollars,
Glad of the chance
To see her dance.

Women adored her.
Less often, a man:
And the more fool he-
She was Lesbian.

Then Jackie:
Perfectly formed of face,
Slim, elegant,
Full of grace:
Leaving a subtle trail of scent
Floating behind him as he went.
A soft-shoe dancer
With a special act.
New York or Paris-
His house was packed.
He had two cars.
He had been behind bars
For theft, public nuisance, rape:
Once extra for trying escape.
Too bad?
Nonsense!
He was fun.
A good sport:
Of some unheard-of preacher father
Who had kicked himout as too much bother.
Of course-
(The Black Horse)
His hips were jaunty,
And his gestures too dextrous.
A versatile lad!
He was ambisextrous.

By contrast - Eddie:
A short, squat brute,
Gorilla-like: hirsuite:
With eyes deep set,
A nose battered
Flat on one side,
And teeth scattered.
The bones about his cheeks and eyes
Protruded grimly, oversize.
A boxer, you'd guess-
And right.
The man could certainly fight.
Aggressive; fast;
Punishment-proof:
Each hand held a kick like a mule's hoof.

He might have been champion-
He had the cunning:
But drink had put him out of the runing.
Away from the ring, he was easy-going;
Good-natured - if sober-
And given to blowing.
But after he'd had his tenth Scoth'
A man to be careful of
And watch:
And when he was mixing gin and rum-
A man to keep well away from.

His woman at present was Mae.
She was blonde, and slender, and gay:
A passionate flirt,
So dumb that it hurt,
And better for night than for day.

Behold the Brothers d'Armano:
Otherwise, Oscar and Phil.
They sang:
They played the piano:
They functioned together with skill.
They lisped.
Their voices were shrill.
They were powdered,
Rouged,
Sleek of hair:
They must have worn
Pink silk underwear.
They clung together with arms laced
Each about the other's waist:
Stood around in anguished poses.
They rated
A shower of paper roses;
Lavender lights,
And the stink of joss.
Suffering Moses,
What a loss!

Watch Delores:
Dark, tall,
Slim,
Wrapped in a Spanish shawl;
With a Spanish comb making a flare
Of crimson against her smooth, black hair.
A singer
Without a voice:
But she rode in a Rolls-Royce.
She made herself up, and out, to be
Of Spanish aristocracy
(As a matter of fact,
If one only knew,
She was somewhat Negro
And a great deal Jew.)
In each eye lurked
What she thought was a dagger;
And she walked with a slink
Mixed with a swagger.
She was swell to sleep with,
Her toe-nails were scarlet.
She looked like - and had been-
A Mexican harlot.

There were others, of course:
A dozen or so.
Sally,
With Butter and Eggs in tow-
He had seen her first two nights ago
In the chorus of a summer musical show.

And the usual two
Loud Jew
Theatrical managers stood engrossed
Bewailing high production cost.
Each of the had suffered most.
In twenty minutes both had lost
The sum of sixty million dollars-
With gestures:
After which they sighed,
And drank
Panting:
Tragic-eyed:
Mopping at sadly wilted collars.

Nadine:
Mae's kid sister.
Fourteen:
No man had kissed her.
Excitement made her wide-eyed:
She was so thrilled to be there
She could have died!
She was quite pretty
And she looked older.
She knew only
What had been told her.

And of course, Burrs:
Natty in grey,
With a breath you could smell a yard away:
Putting his better foot foremost
And trying to be the perfect host.

The rest were simply repetitions
Of the more notorious. Slim editions:
Less practised; less hardened:
Less vicious; less strong:
Just a nice crowd trying to get along.

But to-night, Queenie surpassed them all.
Exquisite in blck;
Radiant;
Tall;
with a face of ivory,
And blurred gold for hair:
She was something to kneel before, in prayer.

"My god, Queenie; you're looking swell!"

Quoth Queenie:
"I'm feeling slick as hell!"

Late, but still Part Three.

2009-04-21T11:12:50Z

So very late with this one. Sorry, sorry, sorry!

Act One - Chapter Three. Drumroll please:

The Wild Party by Joseph Moncure March

3

Sunday noon:
Broiling hot.
Queenie woke up feeling shot.
She lay stretched out on the crumpled bed
Naked: slim arms above her head.
She stared at the ceiling;
She stared at her feet;
She stared at the clock,
And cursed the heat
Faintly:
Quaintly.
She looked exquisite; saintly.

Burrs was up,
Ugly; silent;
Unshaven;
dressed in a pair of violent
Pink pyjamas, badly crumpled.
His eyes were pouched.
His hair was rumpled.
He sat brooding like a captive satyr
Over a cup and a percolater.
He was gross;
Morose.
The Sunday Tabloid spread before him
Rather unusually well supplied
With murder,
Rape,
And Suicide,
Left him cold: unsatisfied.
Even the comics seemed to bore him.

Queenie lifted her head
A trifle from the bed.
"Burrsie!" she piped.
Her voice was pitched
In a fretful key.
His mouth twitched:
He was dangerously still,
By enormous power of will.
Her eyes filled with a martyred look:
She registered grief, and her voice shook.
"Burrsie!"
Sharply-
"Well?" he inquired.
"Burrsie! Queenie is oh, so tired!"

His teeth snapped.
He was glittering-eyed.
For a moment he could not decide
Whether it would be best to throttle
Or brain this woman with a nearby bottle.
A woman who slept
Like a corspe under sod,
And woke up tired!
Almighty God!

His nerves jangled.
He saw red.
He said nothing: but Queenie did,
From the region of the bed,
Peevishly:
"Burrsie! Pour out a cup for me!"
Said she.

"The hell I will, you lazy slut!
Do you think you're the Prince of Wales,
Or what?"

Tense
Silence,
Foreboding sudden violence.

Queenie rolled up on to her side.
She looked Burrs over, narrow-eyed.
Her eyebrows rose
On a vicious slant:
Her mouth and chin grew adamant.
Burrs was a afraid-
Already routed.
He tried bluster.
"Well!" He shouted,
Glaring:
But she simply lay there
Staring.

So for a long, awkward while.
At last she smiled a contemptuous smile
At nothing. She yawned. She rose.
She pulled on a pair of sheer black hose.
She rouged her lips.
She powdered her nose
And kept on going until at last her
Flesh to the knees was alabaster.
Burrs watched.

The silence grew.
Was she through?
Who knew!
She thrust one foot
in a French-heeled shoe,
And gave both a critical inspection:
Never a look in his direction.

The silence chilled his brain.
"Queenie!"
Silence.
Again:
"Queenie!- Hell!"
He was stubborn now:
He'd make her talk, no matter how!
He set his teeth,
Swallowed his pride;
Rose:
Slunk over:
Crouched at her side.
"Queenie!"
He seized her arm; shook it.
She may have been pleased,
But she didn't look it.
Her eyes flashed:
No truce!
She wrenched her arm loose.
Up she leapt, white faced.

He lunged:
His arms went around her waist:
They tightened: they locked:
They crushed her thin.
For a moment, she writhed;
Then she gave in.

He pulled her backwards,
And her soft, slim
Body flew down and covered him.
His face was pressed
Deep in her breast.
She loosened.
She waited.
She lay still,
Giving his hands and lips their will.
She was cold as ice, all through it:
She had him now,
And she knew it.
His heart quickened:
His breath thickened.
She covered his mouth with a kiss like flame;
And he quivered; and he gasped;
And he almost came.

Now,
Swift as a snake,
She shifted.

Her shoulders rose.
Her arm lifted.
Down she struck.

His tight embrace
Gave. His hands covered his face.
She leapt up; fled, with hard laughter.
Bleeding at the mouth,
He rushed after.

"You rotten bitch!
I'll fix you yet!"

She grabbed a knife from the kitchenette,
And a brown bottle with a whisky label:
Then dodged
Swiftly
Around the table.

They paused: watched:
Animal-eyed,
Furious,
From either side.
Her face was white as through newly plastered.

"You touch me-
I'll kill you, you filthy bastard!"

The threat was banal,
But her tone lent it
A quality that showed she meant it.

A pause.
"Well-?"
It was over.

"My sweetie's bats-
But I love her!"
Said Burrs drily.
He smiled wryly.
He was wily.
Queenie shrugged, and took the cue.

"Aw, nuts- and to hell with you!"
Was her not to sentimental retort.

"Come on," urged Burrs: "be a sport!
Go on, Cutie- drop the knife!
Let's call it quits.
I like my life!"

"Yeah?" said Queenie: "I wouldn't choose it.
And once for all, I'll tell you what:
The next time you call me a lazy slut,
If I find a knife, I'll damn well use it!-
Kick that idea around till you lose it!"

Having delivered herself of this,
She gave him a condescending kiss.

She took a cracked cup from the shelf:
Rattled the percolator;
Helped herself.
Sat,
Sipped;
Perfect lipped,
Legs crossed:
At ease: engrossed.
Beautiful.

There was a lull.
Peace.

But her face was still white,
And her eyes flickered with angry light.
At last she gave an odd
Double nod.
She raised her handsome head;
She said:
"Burrsie, I think we're about due
For a party:
Don't you?"

Said Burrs: "I do!
My god! I haven't been really tight
For a week!
Let's ask the gang to-night!"